Hogwarts: A Cultural History
by Manda Panda Bear
Summary: COMPLETE! When Hermione finds a Slytherin’s journal, in her Gryffindor prefect vanity, from twenty years ago she has no idea that the events in it will shed a new light on some people. Her indulgence in the journal also helps Hermione discover herself.
1. Narcissa Black and Bellatrix Black

            Hermione dropped down on her bed after a long day of study and classes.  Being a sixth year turned out to be just as complicated as the previous years, doubled.  After receiving seven O.W.L.s Hermione decided to pursue all the classes she'd achieved O.W.L.s in, with the hopes of getting N.E.W.T.s in her seventh year.

            After lying there for a few moments Hermione picked herself up and went to one of the three vanities in the room she shared with the other two female prefects.  She looked at herself in the mirror.  She looked tired, she felt tired.  Hermione pulled open the drawer to retrieve her brush to give her hair a good comb through before she went to bed.  It was only then, after having this same vanity for a year, that she realized there was a compartment in the drawer that she'd never noticed before…a secret compartment.  

            Hermione pushed on the back of the drawer and the entire bottom of the drawer flipped up to reveal a two inch area to hide things, and hide things it did.  There was a leather bound book covered in years of dust nestled in the hiding spot.

            Hermione pulled it out and brushed the cover clean.  There were no words across the cover.  As soon as she opened it a letter fell onto Hermione's lap.  Unfolding the brittle paper Hermione's eyes scanned the note.

**_Lily,_**

****

**_Keep this for me please.  I don't want Narcissa to find it.  Thanks._**

****

**_Your friend,_**

**_Beth_**

            "Lily?  Lily Potter maybe." Hermione questioned aloud, to herself.  Then she turned her attention back to the yellowed pages.  Across the front page was picture and, in smooth neat penmanship, under the picture were the words:  _Bethany Spence, Hogwarts Slytherin_.

            Hermione furrowed her brow, "A Slytherin."  She studied the picture of the Bethany.  She was casually looking around in the picture with a prim picture smile on her face.  Her eyes were clear and honest.  Her face was surrounded by a mane of pretty bouncy curls that looked dark in the black and white picture.

            Hermione got up and cross the room again, back to her bed.  There she got comfortable under the covers and began to read…

**_Monday September 13, 1976_**__****

****

**_Today was quite possibly the most trying of my life.  I met Narcissa Black and she decided to take me under her blackened wing.  A thought that makes me shutter, but you don't cross a Black or you might not have a head the next week.  Either way, that's here nor there.  Most would jump at the opportunity at being on Sissy's good side; but me, I think it's a bit late to be making friends.  Six years at Hogwarts and she brings me to her group now in her last year, something's going on…_**

            Hermione's mind began to wonder, and she could imagine the scene as Bethany described it in great detail…

            "Where have you been?" Narcissa looked up to Bethany who made to pass the group of seventh year Slytherin girls in the Great Hall for lunch.

            "Yeah Beth, we've got Transfiguration next.  What have you got?"  Bellatrix, a beautiful medium sized girl, batted her eyelashes at Bethany.

            Bethany, taking the cue, sat aside Narcissa, "I'm going to have Muggle Studies, then Potions."  Her eyes darted up to a dark, greasy seventh year sitting across from her named Severus Snape.  His eyes only left his book for a moment before he cleared his throat and went back to reading.  

            Narcissa eyed Severus disgusted for a moment and then nodded, "You're better off than us, though that awful woman who teaches Potions can be trying, at best."

            Bellatrix laughed, "Yeah, McGonagall's a trip, she hates us so I hate Potions."

            Bethany sighed, "I know.  Dumbledore's not so bad though.  I wouldn't mind having Transfiguration this afternoon."

            "Are you kidding?" Bellatrix snorted, "He's given me detention three times already and schools only been in for twelve days.  Headmaster or not, I hate him.  He shouldn't be teaching anyway, mother says so, he should be tending only to his duties as Headmaster."

            Bethany watched Bellatrix for a moment before she said, "But there'd be no one to teach Transfiguration."

            "He should get somebody to teach it."  Bellatrix sneered.

            "McGonagall wants to teach it, but Dumbledore can't find a Potions Master, so she has to stay teaching Potions until Dumbledore can get a qualified Potions teacher."  Narcissa explained matter-of-factly, then she smiled.  "So we're already planning our first Hogsmeade weekend."

            "Ewwww," Bellatrix cooed, "will you be meeting 'Luscious' Malfoy there?"

            "Stop," Narcissa waved a hand, and if Bethany didn't know better she'd say that Narcissa blushed.  

            Bellatrix did not stop she turned to Bethany, "Have you seen him?  Grrrr, tie me to a tree and-"

            Severus cleared his throat and slapped his book shut standing abruptly, "Excuse me."  With that he turned and darted off down the table.

            "He likes you," Narcissa said plainly then turned to Bethany.

            "What?" Bethany frowned.

            "It's true," Bellatrix smiled maliciously.  "He stares at you whenever he can.  He probably doesn't like to hear you taking part in all this guy talk.  Which brings us back to yummy Mr. Malfoy."

            "Stop," Narcissa barked and Bellatrix fell silent.  "He's my boyfriend and I don't have any desire to hear what you've got to say about tree tying and shagging my man."

            "Is your boyfriend a student here?" Bethany asked.

            "No," Narcissa shook her head, but raise her voice an octave pretending to sound important, "He _was_ a student here.  Lucius graduated four years ago."

            "I see," Bethany smiled.

            "Well don't you like boys?" Bellatrix pushed, "With all this guy talk you've got to have one who's attracted your attention."

            Bethany shrugged, "Not really."  When she received several surprised stares she added, "Too many to choose from."

            "As long as it's not that creepy Snape guy," Bellatrix stuck out her tongue.

            Bethany smiled, "No, not that creepy Snape guy."

            "Come on ladies, lets take this discussion outside," Narcissa said.

**_Narcissa is the ringleader, whatever she says we do._**

            "So Sissy," Bellatrix said, "will 'Luscious'…I mean…Lucius be there?"

            Narcissa sighed a happy sigh, swinging her pretty blonde hair over her shoulder.  Her blue eyes danced in the sunlight under the huge tree that over hung the lake.  "Yes."

            "So why are we planning anything?  Won't you want us to scram?" Bellatrix asked.

            "Well, yes…that's the plan," Narcissa smiled.

            "GET IT!"  Shouted a voice then three guys tumbled into the trio of females.  One knocked Narcissa to the ground and another tripped over Bellatrix.  The third missed Bethany by inches as she leapt out of the way.

            "Got it!" A dark haired, handsome seventh year Gryffindor pushed his glasses up on his nose.  

**_James Potter.  Lily's boyfriend.  I like Lily she's always been kind to me, she's the kind of friend I want.  I've always been a loner, a studier.  My friends graduated last year, and now I'm trying to find my way again…but I'm afraid I've found my way in the wrong direction._**

            Narcissa leapt to her feet and gave the boy who tackled her a good hard slap across the face.  "How dare you!"

**_He was a handsome boy too.  Dark hair and daring eyes.  Charisma that screamed arched out from him in all directions._**

            He smiled at Narcissa when she slapped him, "Thanks Narcissa."

            She gritted her teeth, "Sirius you try my patience."

            "I take that as a compliment."  He bowed to the angry girl at his toes.

            "Wait until I tell your mother what you've become."

            "Go ahead," Sirius leaned over close to Narcissa's face.  His own face lost some of its charm with his angry expression.  "Let's see if I can make this plain enough for you.  I. Don't. Care."

            Bethany went to the pudgy fallen boy at Bellatrix's feet and helped him up.  He was staring out of two beady eyes at Sirius and Narcissa.  James had also fallen back to watch, though occasionally he would ruffle his hair.

            "Sirius!" A fourth boy arrived aside Lily Evans.  He quickly grabbed Sirius arm and pulled him back a few inches.

**_One Remus Lupin was the fourth who arrived.  Not as handsome as James or Sirius but quite the looker otherwise.  He had a rugged look about him and a wisdom that seemed to exude from him beyond his seventeen, or so, years._**

            "Narcissa," Remus said, "I'm sorry.  Sirius wasn't paying attention.  He was trying to catch the snitch."

            "You three chase the snitch…on your feet?" Bellatrix sneered as though this were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.

            James held up the golden item, the wings of it beating fiercely trying to get free.  "I got it."

            "You always get it," the short, round boy said.

**_Peter Pettigrew, he's a tag-a-long.  It's obvious to any on looker but James, Sirius, and Remus are good people.  They help poor Peter._**

            Remus glanced over at Bellatrix then to Bethany, "My apologize.  It won't happen again."

            Bethany nodded and opened her mouth to speak but Narcissa got there first, "It better not!"

            "Let me go Remus," Sirius said.

            "Don't let him go," James told Remus.

            "Let me go," Sirius said in regular intervals of breath.

            "Come on," Remus told Sirius.

            Narcissa gave Sirius, who hadn't taken his eyes off his cousin, a fleeting triumphant smile.

            Peter scooted nervously around behind Remus.  It was evident that he was afraid of the girls so he took refuge at the back of his group of friends.

            "Come on mate," James said.  "It's not worth it."

            "You mean she's not worth it!" Sirius spat at Narcissa.

            Narcissa just laughed mockingly, "You've got it backwards my dear Sirius."

            Sirius jerked free from Remus's grasp and stalked off in the other direction.

            Narcissa turned her attention to Remus.  Remus shook his head and turned to leave, followed by James, Lily, and Peter.  But as they left the three girls heard Peter say, "Slytherin girls are prettier than Gryffindor girls, present company excluded of course."  When he received no response he said, "Right?"

            "Yeah Pete, but looks can kill," Remus responded, and that was the last thing the girls heard.

            Hermione jumped as Ginny Weasley, the new fifth year prefect, walked in.

            "Hey Hermione," Ginny smiled.

            "Hello Ginny," Hermione said slipping the journal under her sheets.

            "What are you doing up here all alone?"

            "Trying to get some rest," Hermione smiled weakly.

            Ginny nodded, "I understand.  Will you be staying up here for the rest of the night then?"

            "Yes," Hermione nodded.

            Ginny nodded and turned to leave.  As soon as Hermione was alone again she pulled the leather notebook back out and turned the pages to where she was.  

**_This concludes my first entry._**

****

**_Wednesday September 15, 1976_**_…_****

            Hermione was lulled back into the events in the journal.

~*Please let me know what you think, any comment, concern, criticism would be appreciate*~


	2. Severus Snape and Lily Evans

            Bethany sat in the Slytherin common room reading a book when Severus approached her.         

            "You are reading the about the art of potion making?" Severus asked.

            Bethany looked up to him and nodded, "Yes, I'm not doing so well now that I've passed the O.W.L. on it.  McGonagall is disappointed."

            "Disappointed?" Severus took her making conversation as a cue to sit.

            "Yes," Bethany shook her head, "Do you know why I came to Slytherin Severus?  Why the hat placed me here?"

            When he did not respond she went on, "It said because I was determined beyond anything; that with the combination of being a pure blood established me in the elitist house.  I don't think myself an elitist, though I am bound to do everything I choose well, and that includes study."

            Severus nodded, "I admire that, determination."  He shrugged.  "Perhaps that is because I am a determined Slytherin too."

            "Then you understand my diligence in class work?"

            "Yes," Severus nodded.  "If you're having trouble in potions I can help, I'm well versed in potion making."

            Bethany smiled, "I think I could use some extra help since reading these things over in solitude doesn't make any sense to me.  I can't brain the potions out."

            "Meet me in the potions room after class on Monday," Severus said.

            "I'll be there," Bethany nodded.  "Thank you."

            Severus responded only with a nod then disappeared in the boys' dormitory.

            Bethany went to picking up her books when Narcissa and Bellatrix appeared in the doorway.

            "Beth you missed the best performance of Sissy's life," Bellatrix said.

            "Don't flatter me Bell," Narcissa smiled, her prim face turning rosy.

**_I don't remember what they said because I tuned them out from that point on, they tended to go too far when torturing others and I didn't care to be any part of that.  I often took pity on the less fortunate.  That stuff I told Severus about being anti elitist was true, I am a Slytherin yes…I will admit it, take the title because it is what I am, but I take it grudgingly.  If I could have chosen my house on merit it would have been Ravenclaw, if it had been for the boys it would have been Gryffindor._**

            "Where are you going?" Bellatrix asked Bethany as Narcissa finished her story.

            "To put my books away, then I'm going to the kitchen because I skipped dinner," Bethany told her.

            "Okay," Bellatrix smiled.  "Hey Beth, I think I've figured some stuff that we can do while Sissy spends her time with Luscious."

            Bethany just snickered as Narcissa gave Bellatrix a good pop on the shoulder.

            "See you girls later."

**_I guess I should be honored that I'm accepted into a group of seventh years when I'm still a sixth year, but I feel like I sealed my fate behind a barred door with a key in viewing distance but not touching._**

            Bethany slipped out of the Slytherin common room with no intention on going to the kitchen.  She headed across the castle to the astronomy tower, a place she often lingered in when she was not interested in being disturbed.  She was surprised to find the tower not empty this night.

            "Oh, Lily," Bethany said, "I'm sorry I didn't think anyone would be here.  I'll go and let you study."

            "No, you don't have to go.  I'm not studying," Lily said looking up to Bethany.  Her green eyes were impossible and her red hair danced on the light breeze.  "I can go if you've come to study."

            "I haven't," Bethany said.  "I come here to think."

            "Well it seems we have something in common then," Lily smiled.

            "Yes, but we have a lot not in common too."

            Lily frowned, "That's not the way to look on things, let's stick with that which is in common."

            Bethany smiled, "Sounds good.  I hate potions."

            "So do I," Lily laughed.

            "Why are you up here tonight?" Bethany asked.

            The wind and chill was making both girl's eyes water.  Lily folded her arms over her chest, "James.  Since we've started going out I've lost all my friends, he's kept all his and I have no one to talk to.  He scared me tonight though."

            "Scared you?  How?" Bethany asked taking a seat up on the castle wall.

            "It may sound silly."

            "Nothing's silly Lily."

            "He mentioned getting married."  Lily sighed.  "It's the second time since we've been dating that he's brought the idea up."

            "You don't want to marry James?" Bethany cocked her head.

            "It's not that Beth, it's that I think I do."  Lily bit her lip, "And that's what scares me."

**_I can't believe she shared something as important as marriage with me when I'm a rival.  There's no escaping it, and other people are too afraid to say it plain but I will Gryffindors and Slytherins are generally enemies.  Anyway, I think Lily and I are friends now, I don't know why but I trust her…it may very well be because she trusted me with something very personal tonight.  And if I know her from the few words we've shared she'll be a Potter before she knows it.  Lily loves James, maybe more than she wants to admit.  I'm jealous, I want to love and be loved like that.  I just hope I'm lucky enough to find him._**

            Hermione sighed hopefully, she knew that feeling, she supposed, as any girl at her age knew that feeling.  Hermione thought she could love someone very close to her, but it was a matter of him loving her back.  She went back to the journal.

~*Please let me know what you think, any comment, concern, criticism would be appreciate*~


	3. James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettig...

**_Tuesday September 21, 1976_**__****

****

**_Yesterday was my first potions tutoring with Severus.  Life never seems to be ordinary, he's not as bad as Sissy and _****_Bell_****_ make him out though he could use a bath every now and then.  I think, similarly to me, he's misjudged.  As where I am taken for a snooty pure blood he is mistake for a slime ball.  So life deals us all different hands, but it was today that I really found me at odds with myself.  I must be clear before I try and attempt any description of what happened.  I think I've found the man that I can love more than life itself, please self when you come back and look over this (and probably laugh) note that you did say 'think'.  Okay, we're clear._**

            "Beth what are you doing?"

            "Shhhh!"  Bethany slapped a hand over Lily's mouth and pointed around the wall.

            Lily peeked around the corner and saw Narcissa and Bellatrix headed their way.  Lily nodded and Bethany pointed in the other direction.  Lily led the way tiptoeing around the other side of the castle.

            "You're hiding from your friends?" Lily asked.

            "At the moment we are at odds," Bethany said.

            "It would seem that at every moment you are at odds," Lily laughed.

            Bethany gave a reluctant chuckle, "I suppose that is a correct assumption."

            Just then James snuck up behind Lily and scooped her up around the waist and hefted her off the ground.  She gave a sudden shriek and turned around giving him a playful slap.  Sirius, Remus, and Peter, in tow, laughed too.  

            Bethany slipped back out of the circle a bit.

            "So guys," Lily said.  "I want you to meet my friend Beth."

            "We know her," Sirius gave Bethany a discouraging frown.  "She's one of Narcissa's crowd."

            "It's not like that Sirius," Lily said.

            "Right," Sirius said and headed on past them toward the lake.

            "Don't mind him," James waved a hand.  "He's my best mate, it'll blow over.  If Lily says you're okay I believe her so I believe you."

            Bethany smiled shyly, "Thanks."

            Peter didn't say anything.  His eyes darted from Sirius's back, in the distance, to Bethany.  After several seconds he slipped past James, Lily, and Bethany after Sirius.

            "He's in Sirius worship mode," Remus stepped up.  "Don't mind him either, when Sirius comes around Peter will too.  I'm Remus Lupin, nice to meet you Beth."

**_My heart stopped, I couldn't breathe, he offered his hand to me and I couldn't move to take it.  Though I'd seen Remus before, and even had him address me on occasion it was like I'd never seen him until that moment…today when I was hiding.  Hiding!  Why is it that when we hide we sometimes stumble upon the things we are seeking?_**

            After staring at Bethany for a few seconds, his hand extended to her Remus reached over and scooped hers up in a firm shake.

            "Sorry," Bethany blinked.

            Hermione sat up straight, "Professor Lupin."  She scanned the last few paragraphs, "Professor Lupin had a secret admirer, one who thought could love him more than life itself."  

            Hermione flipped back to the picture of Bethany Spence.  Hermione hadn't really looked at the picture before, she hadn't thought she'd get to meet people she'd never know…some she knew as adults through another's eyes, at her age.

            Bethany was pleasant looking, she didn't look hard like most Slytherins Hermione knew.  Instead Bethany looked patient and caring.  She was not unattractive, instead upon closer inspection Hermione found her quite pretty.

            Hermione considered writing to Professor Lupin to ask if he remembered Bethany, but thought better of it for now.  She wanted to finish the journal before she addressed something she might regret later.


	4. Potions and Hogsmeade

**_Sunday September 26, 1976_******

****

**_I can't help it.  He is my waking dream moment, my closing thought, and my obsession.  Sissy would call me crazy, _****_Bell_****_ would sneer, but Lily would say it is love.  Today the difficulties of existing heightened, and I don't know where my path will guide me from here.  Early on I noted the most trying day of my life was the day Sissy decided to make me a friend, that was true to that point…today surpassed that.  Remus would never notice me, but Sissy was right about some Slytherin boy who took an interest in Lily Evans first but has turned his attention to me._**

            "You will never pass your Potions exam if you don't pay attention," Severus told Bethany, whose cauldron was bubbling over sloshing a sticky green goo on the floor.  "You used Essence of Toad didn't you?"

            Bethany held up a bottle to Severus.

            His hand was patient as he took the bottle, and his voice was gentle when he spoke.  "This is Essence of Toad, it's the same color as Willow Juice.  Here," Severus scooped up another inky black liquid and dumped the contents of it into the cauldron.  At that point the potion hissed and the bubbling subsided.  "It's going to leave a green stain here."

            When Severus turned back around he found Bethany sitting a few stools away staring intently at the ground.

            "Bethany?" Severus went to her.  "Are you all right?  You've not been yourself all day.  I've never seen you botch a potion like that, in fact since we've been having these Potions tutoring sessions I've never seen you mess up a potion."

            Her eyes left the floor.  "It's Sunday Sev."

            "Yes." Severus nodded.  Bethany had been calling him Sev ever since they started with the Potion practice, and he seemed to like it.

            "All our friends are outside."  Bethany wanted to scream that she just wanted to see Remus from a distance, reading under a tree while his friends ran around like idiots, where he would occasionally look up and a smile would flutter across his face and he might let a gruff laugh escape him.  "I can't focus."  She looked away.

            "I wouldn't have suggested the extra practice if you didn't have an exam tomorrow.  I'm sorry I've taken you away from your friends on a Sunday."

            Bethany shook her head, "I'm sorry I've wasted your day when you could be studying for your N.E.W.T.s."  
            "Bethany you are not bother to me," Severus told her.

            Bethany stood and headed over to her cauldron where she began mopping up the contents.  "I really do appreciate the help Sev.  I've just not been myself lately."

            Severus nodded and bent to help her with the clean up.  Between the two of them they cleaned up the mess very quickly.  Bethany put her cauldron away and looked back to Severus when she made it to the door. "Thanks again."

            "Bethany." Severus's voice stopped her just as she went to leave the Potions classroom.

            "Yeah?" Bethany turned back to him.

            "The first Hogsmeade weekend is the second weekend in October, I thought maybe we could go together."

            Bethany had never heard Severus speak so quickly and she wondered if what she'd deciphered out of his words was what he'd really said.

**_Yes, this is what he'd really said.  I'm flabbergasted, to say the very least.  Flabbergasted and flattered.  I hadn't believed Sissy and _****_Bell_****_, but they are often more right than I like.  They're going to be mad...I can't help being who I am._**

            "Did you ask me to Hogsmeade?" Bethany said staring at Severus, astounded.

            "Never mind," Severus spoke quickly.

            "Sev," Bethany caught his arm as he made to pass her.  She wanted to say no, with the wishful thinking that she could go with Remus but realizing, once again, that that was a false hope that would never take place she nodded.  "Sure, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you."

            "You will…" Severus's words hung in the air.

            "Yeah," Bethany smiled at him.  "See you Wednesday for my next Potions tutoring?"

            Severus just nodded staring at her.

            Bethany walked the corridor alone, she didn't know whether to go outside and be with her friends or head back down to the Slytherin common room where she could think and continue to be alone.  She decided she'd feel better about going to Hogsmeade with Severus after she knew that Remus was not interested in her at all.  She, also, decided that Narcissa and Bellatrix were wrong about Severus…he was okay.

            Bethany turned and headed down the hall toward the September day outside, but thought better of it and turned back.  She took a few steps and turned heading outside, again her feet turned her back toward the Slytherin's house.

**_I would have gone on like that forever if someone hadn't interrupted me._**

            "You might wear a hole in the carpet there."

            Bethany turned to see Professor Dumbledore smiling happily at her.

            "Professor, I…I didn't mean…I'm sorry."

            "Don't be sorry Bethany.  Why aren't you outside with all your friends?  It's a lovely day outside."

            Bethany simply stared at Dumbledore for several long seconds before she asked, "Is life always difficult?"

            Dumbledore blinked at the girl, "Surely you can't mean that your life is difficult at sixteen?"

            "But it is," Bethany frowned.

            "The troubles of a teenager are the fun kind of troubles," Dumbledore told her.

            Bethany smiled, "Please Professor, point me in the right direction to ease my fun troubles."

            Dumbledore's laughing eyes continued to dance as he said, "What fun would it be if I didn't let you experience it on your own?"

**_Something about Dumbledore always gives me strength.  He's unstoppable, impossible, and always full of useless information and bizarre quotes that could pick up anyone's spirits.  He gave me the strength I needed to get to the door, at least._**

            Bethany reached for the door and before she could open it the door burst open smashing her in the nose slinging her across the floor.  Instantly her hand went to her nose to keep blood from getting everywhere, though it only helped the blood from running all over the floor.  With blood speckled robes Bethany looked up to see a large man that engulfed the entire doorway.

            "'agrid?" She asked, her voice was muffled behind a handful of blood.

            "Bethany?" Hagrid went to her and began to help her, "I'm sorry ter have knocked yeh down.  Are yeh all righ'?"

            She drew her hand back and looked at the slick bright red liquid that covered her palm.  "I t'ink I'm going to beh."

            "Well, we were jus' headed down ter see Madam Pomfrey.  Come on, looks like yeh'll be needin' ter see her too."

            "We?" Bethany asked as Hagrid pulled the girl to her feet by her arm.  She winced at the tightness of his grasp.

            "James fell of his broom," Hagrid jammed a thumb behind him where Sirius and Remus were helping James inside on what looked to be a broken leg.  Peter and Lily were close behind.

            "Oh," Bethany stepped out of the way.

            "Goodness Bethany."  Lily went to her friend and grabbed her wrist dragging her along.  "You look terrible."

            "T'anks." Bethany said mockingly glancing at the boys ahead of them.

            "Well come on, you'll need to see Madam Pomfrey too.  Honestly, I can't leave you or James alone for a moment with out one of you trying to die."  Lily smiled over her shoulder at Bethany who was doing her best to mop up the blood all over her face.

            "I've never had a bloody nose before," Bethany said.

            "There's a first time for everything.  I wish I could say this was the first time James has broken his leg practicing Quiddich, but if I did…I'd be lying."

            Bethany smiled despite herself.

            Finally Bethany pulled free just outside of the hospital wing. "I'm all right now Lily.  I don't need to go in there."

            "Don't be silly."  Lily said, taking Bethany's arm back up.  "We're here already."

            Lily had to pull Bethany into the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey was already propping James up in a bed and clicking her tongue disapprovingly.  "Well Mr. Potter, you already know how this tastes.  Go on then."  Madam Pomfrey turned back to James' friends.  "He'll have to stay over night."  Then Madam Pomfrey caught a glimpse of Bethany.  "Well, Miss. Spence I haven't seen you in here since your first year when you took a nose dive off your broom in your first flying class."

            Bethany blushed, "I've become more careful.  Or perhaps I'm just less accident prone now."

            Madam Pomfrey smiled briefly.  "Did Potter knock you off your broom this time?"

            "No ma'am."  Bethany said as Madam Pomfrey took Bethany's arm and pulled her forward looking over her nose.

            "Well, it's not broken."  Madam Pomfrey went to a cupboard and returned seconds later with a small cup of something.  "Here, drink this.  It will stop the bleeding and you'll be fine to go out for the rest of the day."  Madam Pomfrey turned to the other four, "You can go on ahead now."

            "I'll wait, if it's alright." Lily said.

            Madam Pomfrey gave her a stern look that didn't go over quickly, and Lily revised her statement.  "I'll wait outside for you Beth."

            Bethany shook here head.  "You don't have to wait."

            Lily nodded and pointed to the door.  "I'll be right out side."

            When Bethany came out Lily stood up. "Hey.  Are you okay?  You looked a little pale in there."

            "A little?" Bethany tried to smile.  "How to I look now?"

            "A bit dejected, what happened?"

            "I got hit in the nose, didn't you see the blood all over the place?"  Bethany tried to joke.

            "I mean with you and why you lost all that makes you Bethany.  You looked horrified in there.  Do you hate the hospital wing or something?"

            "I do now, after that valiant tale Madam Pomfrey told in front of all of you."

            "Beth," Lily caught her friend around the wrist and brought her to a halt.  "Do you think any of that matters to us?  Stupid stuff happens to all of us."

            Bethany tried to smile but couldn't bring herself to do so.  She nodded though.  "Yeah, I guess you're right.  Listen if you want to wait to sneak in and see James I won't mind.  I really do want to get a bit of fresh air."

            Lily reached over and gave Bethany a hug.  "Thanks."

**_So once again  alone with the dilemma of going outside, now with the embarrassment of a bloody nose and a broom crashing story, or going back to the safety of the Slytherin common room.  I decided on the common room, so here I am explaining what happened today.  If I could express a sigh in words I would put it at this very spot._**

            Hermione shook her head wondering why she'd never heard Sirius, Professor Lupin, or even Mrs. Weasley mention Bethany when apparently she was, at least at one point, friends with the Potters.

~*_ Please be kind and review.  Thanks for reading.  ~Jo*~_


	5. Bad to Worse

**_Saturday October 2, 1976_**__****

****

**_Too bad there isn't much to talk about during the week but I make a point to do something stupid every weekend.  First I have to say, I aced my potions exam.  Second I have to say, I'm an idiot…_**

Bethany shielded her eyes with her hand from the bright sun.  She scanned the area ahead: the lake, the tree, lots of green grass, no Remus.

**_I still wanted to verify that I'd have no chance at Hogsmeade with Remus and a cup of tea at Madam Puddifoot's._**

            "Are you all right?"

            Bethany turned.  Once again, she stood paralyzed.

            "Beth?" Remus was standing in the doorway Bethany had just exited with a book tucked under his arm.

            Bethany shook her head and smiled, "Yes…yes I'm fine now."

            "Good." He smiled.  Bethany noticed that tiny crow's feet appeared at the edges of Remus' eyes when he smiled.  He was far too young for crow's feet, but they were there.  "I hope Hagrid didn't hit you too hard last weekend."

            "No not really.  I'm still conscious."

            He laughed.  Bethany's insides jumped, he laughed at her stupid joke.

            "How's James?"

            "Oh himself."  Remus snickered.  "Crying and whining about the _whole night he had to spend in the hospital.  Lily buys it."_

            "Will they be going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" Bethany asked.

            "Without question."  Remus said.

            "Will you be going?" Bethany somehow found the strength to muster the question softly.

            Remus raised an eyebrow and peered up at the sky.  "Oh, I don't think so."

            "But it will be fantastic Remus." Bethany said.  "Don't you like Hogsmeade?"

            "Oh yes, I do." Remus shifted uncomfortably.

            "Then why-"

            "Next weekend's not a good weekend."  Remus cut her off abruptly.

            "I see."  Bethany eyed the ground nervously at Remus' shortness, and then tried to pick up the conversation.  "Where are Sirius and Peter?" Bethany asked.

            Remus shrugged.  "I don't know.  Since James is behind on school work, and Sirius doesn't believe in study this week, he's probably looking for someone to pick on.  Pete's probably two steps behind Sirius."

            Bethany watched Remus' eyes dart across the area behind her.  

            "Ah yes, I should have guessed."  Remus said folding his arms over his chest.

            Bethany spun to see Sirius just across the lake taunting Severus.

            Bethany turned back to Remus a pained expression on her face.  "Guessed?  He does that often?"

            "Too often."

            "You're a prefect!  Why don't you make him stop?" Bethany questioned and as soon as the words had left her lips she knew she'd said the wrong thing.  Remus' expression went placid.

            "I've learned over the years you can't stop Sirius when his mind is set on something.  Trust me Beth, I've tried.  I've tried to stop James too.  Sometimes Severus asks for it though."

            Bethany was trembling, she couldn't decide what to do.  Remus was talking to her, but Severus was in trouble.  There would be other times to talk to Remus, but there wouldn't be another time just like this to help Severus and if she let Severus down now she wouldn't be able to live with herself.

            "I've got to try."  Bethany looked over her shoulder at Remus.

            Remus nodded.

            "No you have to understand." Bethany walked back over to Remus, she wanted to tell him that 'he had to understand that she wanted nothing more than to stand there and talk to him'.

            "I do understand Beth," Remus said.

            Bethany simply shook her head, he didn't understand.  She wanted him to understand, but she couldn't bring herself to say anymore.  She spun on her heels and dashed across the field that led to the lake.  Sprinting around it she came to a stop behind Sirius.

            "Black!" Bethany shouted.

            Sirius stopped mid statement and turned to Bethany.

            "What do you want?" Sirius asked.

            Bethany shrugged.  "I thought it was time I got you back for tackling Narcissa."  Bethany knew better than to admit she was there to rescue Severus.  That would accomplish nothing but showing Sirius that Severus was weak enough to need help, and, likewise, would not go over well with Severus because he would take offense to Bethany thinking he needed help.  So, Bethany lied.

            "I see." Sirius said.  "So Lily was wrong about you."

            Bethany didn't stand down, though she wanted to.  She owed Severus for all those times he helped her with Potions, and was still helping her with Potions.

            "Alright then," Sirius raised his wand.  "Let's see what you've got."

            "_Accio wand!"  It was not Sirius's voice, nor was it Bethany's, but now Severus stood with Sirius's wand.  A grim smile plastered on his long, pale face._

            "Thanks for the wand Black." Severus said.

            "You will give me back my wand _Snivellus_," Sirius growled.

            "I don't think I will." Severus said tossing the wand end over end and catching it.

            Sirius didn't hesitate, he lunged at Severus knocking him to the ground.  Sirius got one good bop on the jaw before Bethany leapt on him trying to pull him off from Severus.

            "Sirius don't!"

            "Get off me woman!" Sirius said slinging his shoulders around and tossing Bethany off from him.  She tumbled back and landed in the lake.  By the time Remus got there, at a dead run, Sirius had his wand and Severus had a busted lip, a bloody nose, and the makings of a nasty black eye.

            Sirius turned on his heels and stalked off leaving Remus catching his breath, leaning over, one hand on his knee, the other hand holding his stomach trying to ease a stitch in his side.

**_Bad went to worse in a matter of seconds.  I sat there, lake grass hanging off my arms, drenched head to foot in mucky water, thank goodness it wasn't deeper where I landed._**

            Remus and Severus looked to Bethany.  Both went to Bethany at the same time despite the mangled face and aching side.

            The two came to a stop at the edge of the lake.

            Remus looked to Severus and vise versa, and then both offered their hands' at the same time.

            Bethany, using both hands, took each offered to her.  Trying to prove something, Remus and Severus, pulled Bethany out of the lake with a bit too much zeal.  She fell forward at the power both use.

            "Look what you've done!" Severus said heading over to help Bethany up.

            "Me?" Remus asked a bit too politely.

            Bethany pulled herself up and looked between the both of them.

            "Gryffindors, always trying to be so noble and brave."  Severus spat a mouthful of blood at Remus' feet.

            "You forget Severus, it was not me who attacked you." Remus said haughtily.

            "But you've never stopped it either, therefore you are equally as responsible."

            Remus' teeth ground together, and Severus' nostril's flared.  Years of tension was finally brought to a head, it wasn't about Bethany it was about the pre-existing animosity.  Bethany stepped between the two after several moments of Remus and Severus staring at one another waiting for the other to break.  

"It's over now."  Bethany said.

            "I've never been the one instigating you Severus."  Remus ignored Bethany.

            "It's just as well, your friends handle that just fine while you turn the blind eye."

            "STOP!" Bethany shrieked.

            Severus looked at her.  His face softened only for a second before he glared back at Remus and swished away toward the castle.

            Bethany looked to Remus.  Her eyes searched his for an explanation.  It was only then that Bethany realized Remus' eyes were empty.

            "You tried all right." Remus finally said his voice as calm as ever, but it was evident by the words he chose that he was not pleased, on the contrary Bethany had never heard Remus use such slicing word.  It wasn't like him at all.  "I told you it wouldn't work.  Now you're wet, Severus is bloody, and Sirius is missing."

            Bethany didn't not feel the need to cry, she was not angry, instead she felt nothing.  "Surely you must understand that I had to try."

            Remus sighed and shook his head.  He said nothing as he left Bethany dripping on the lawn.

~*_ Please be kind and review. Thanks for reading. ~Jo*~_


	6. Good job Bethany

**_Sunday October 3, 1976_**__****

****

**_Well, it started out bad…_**

            "Some performance Beth."  Narcissa laughed at the breakfast table.

            "Hey, at least she got the worst kind of creeps around school fighting each other.  We won't have to worry about them."  Bellatrix echoed Narcissa's hollow giggle.

            "At least I've mastered something."  Bethany frowned.

            "Just keep up the good work and pretty soon we won't have to worry about people like Snape, Sirius, or Lupin being around here."  Bellatrix smiled.

            "Rumor is Sirius got loads of detention, and even dirty old Snape got into trouble for inappropriate use of dueling on school grounds."  Narcissa said.

            "Yeah the only one who made it out without a scratch was Loony Lupin." Bellatrix chuckled.

            "Loony Lupin's got plenty of insanity that he doesn't need any more help from the teachers."  Narcissa said.  "He's sickly too.  It's a weird creature that Lupin."

            "Sickly?" Bethany asked.

            "Yeah, seems like he's in the hospital wing at least once a month, if not twice.  We have Transfiguration with the Gryffindors.  He really is loony."  Narcissa said.  Narcissa handed Bethany a biscuit.  "Good job."

**_The sick part is she meant that… "Good job.  Way to go _****_Bethany_****_, make all the people you actually get along with hate you!  I hope tomorrow you blow up the school.  While you're at it why don't you kill all the Muggles too?"  She told me 'Good job'!  Each day we get closer to Hogsmeade the further away I get from telling _****_Bell_****_ that I'm not going to be spending that day with her.  I can't bring myself to tell her that I'm going with Sev.  I'm even more distanced from telling them that I _WANT_ to go with Remus._**

            "I think I'm going to go for a fly in the Quiddich Pitch." Bethany said.  "Want to come?"

            Narcissa shook her head.  "We can't.  Professor Dumbledore's given us a five feet essay."

            "I want to Sissy." Bellatrix said.

            "Me too.  But we can't." Narcissa told Bellatrix firmly.  Narcissa looked at Bethany.  "Wait until next year when you are preparing for your N.E.W.T.s.  The O.W.L.s were nothing."  With that Narcissa and Bellatrix got up and vanished down Slytherin table.

            Bethany took herself down to the Slytherin girls' dormitory and collected her Dragonfire 6 and headed out to the Quiddich Pitch.  

**_A gift from my father, the best broom on the market to date.  The Dragonfire.  He wanted me to play Quiddich this year.  He said I'd make a hell of a Chaser.  Mum encouraged me to try out too, it wasn't in me though…trying out I mean.  But wow, I love to fly now that I've gotten the hang of it without falling off._**

            The breeze was light on Bethany's face when she got outside.  It was a chilly morning in early October.  It took all she had to keep from hopping on her broom there and riding it over to the Quiddich Pitch.  She was half way there when she heard her name in the distance.

            Bethany paused and heaved a great breath.  Par for the course would lead to bad things from here.  She shrugged and turned, there was no escaping whoever or whatever it was.

            Remus was jogging her way.  She leaned on her broom and waited for him to get to her.

            "Hey."  He said out of breath.

            "Hello."  Bethany's voice came out awkward, even to her.

            "Nice broom."

            "Thanks."  She looked him over.  "What are you doing out here?"

            "I came out to study.  I tend to do better in the outside air."  Remus held up a book.

            "Good luck with that."  Bethany said and turned to go.

            "Beth." Remus voice stopped her again.

            She turned back.

            "I saw you coming out here from the tower and I wanted to talk to you."  Remus found it in himself to admit what he'd really meant to say.  Bethany looked to the tower that faced the field.  It was a good distance away. 

**_He ran the entire way…the entire distance to talk to me.  When life's going straight and you can ride with it, something from somewhere throws a curve.  Tainted, bleak, these are my outlooks on life but today I got a little splash of color._**

            Bethany gulped, and once again she found it difficult to be in Remus' presence.

            "You must be really mad at us." Remus began.

            "Mad?" Bethany asked.

            "You know yesterday I felt justified being rude to you because you're a Slytherin.  That's not right though.  You've been nothing but kind to us and you are a good friend of Lily's.  She was really mad about the way Sirius and I treated you when you were just doing the right thing.  A thing, I might add, that I can't even bring myself to do.  I guess I can't bring myself to stop Sirius because he is too much of a friend even if I don't agree with the way he acts all the time."  Remus took a deep breath, still trying to recover from the run.  "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize.  Not for Sirius but for me, for my actions yesterday.  You didn't deserve that.  And I knew you had to try.  I do understand."

            Bethany smiled.  "Thank you Remus."

            Hermione jumped again as Ginny came in the room again.  

            "Hermione?  You're still awake?"  Ginny asked surprised.

            "Yes."  Hermione slipped the journal under her pillow this time.

            Ginny smiled crawling into her bed.  "I'm tired now too."

            "Yes I do suppose it's time for some sleep."

            "Straight away." Ginny said getting comfy in her bed.

            "Ginny?  Have you heard of Bethany Spence?" Hermione asked suddenly.

            Ginny was just blowing out the candle between her and Hermione.  "No.  Should I?  Is she a new student?"

            "No, a very old student." Hermione said.

            "Oh, I wasn't thinking backward." Ginny pondered it for a moment.  "Bethany Spence you say?  It sounds familiar but I don't recall from where.  Maybe you should ask mum.  Why?"

            "Oh no reason, really." Hermione said.

            "Good night Hermione."

            "Night Ginny."

            Hermione woke the next morning to Potions as her first class.  She had received and O.W.L in potions so she continued with it.  Somehow, miraculously, Harry had managed scrapping an O.W.L in Potions too and pursued it with Hermione in the hopes of one day becoming an Auror.

            Hermione collected her bag as soon as breakfast was over.  Harry jogged up to her.  "Hey, can't we walk to class together."

            "Oh yes, I'm sorry Harry."  Hermione shook her head.  "I just haven't been thinking lately.  Loads of stuff on my mind."

            "Hermione, it's almost Christmas break, it can't be all that bad."

            "Oh it's not." Hermione smiled.  "You know me, always studying."

            Harry just watched Hermione for a few seconds then followed after her. 

            "Hermione?"  Harry asked once they made it into the Potions dungeon.  "What are you doing?"

            "Looking." Hermione said walking along the desks and peering at the floor.

            "Looking for what Miss. Granger?" 

            Hermione stopped at the sight of the hem of Professor Snape's robes.  Slowly her eyes left the ground, where she caught a glimpse of a green seared stain at his feet.  Hermione's eyes slowly lifted to meet his.  "I lost my quill," she said sheepishly.

            "Perhaps you should ask Potter to borrow one then." Snape's face remained stagnant.

            "Professor." Hermione found some courage to mock Snape.  "What happened here?  Where's this stain from?"

            Snape's nostrils flared and he turned on his heels choosing not to answer Hermione's question as he swept around behind his desk.

            "What's gotten into you?" Harry whispered when Hermione took her seat next to him.

            Hermione was staring at the faded green stain on the floor.  "Nothing."

            "You're going to bed already?" Ron asked.  "Hermione it's not even after 9."

            "I know.  I'm tired though."

            Harry and Ron's discouraging looks didn't stop her from going to her dormitory.

            Hermione found the leather bound journal in her backpack.  She tugged it out and flipped through the pages…

**_"Thank you Remus." I said.  What happened next I didn't intend.  He kissed me.  Just kidding.  But I was hoping._**

            "Then you accept my apology?"  Remus asked.

            "Absolutely."  Bethany nodded.  She offered her hand to him this time.  "Friends?"

            Remus took it with a smile.  "Friends."

            Bethany smiled at Remus and he returned her smile.

            Hermione turned the next page and found brown stains on the pages and smudged ink.  Bethany's writing was not neat as Hermione had seen it previously, nor was it smooth, instead it was jagged as if Bethany's hand was shaking as she wrote.


	7. A Dangerous Moonlit Night

_A/N:  This author's note is to let my readers know that I messed up so I had to change my story every so slightly.  Not a big deal, but I've been trying to keep this story with the events we know about in the Marauder's days; btw, of which I am not a huge fan of…but somehow I got inspired to write this.  Anyhow, the nothing huge that I changes wasn't something I couldn't remedy with ease.  All along in dialogue I've been giving the impression that Dumbledore is just the Transfigurations professor, because we learn that he was the Transfiguration during the time of Tom Riddle.  Well, I'm dumb and didn't advance to present (Marauders' time) day.  So, I changed a tinsy bit of dialogue in chapter one to indicate that Professor Dumbledore is the Headmaster but is also still teaching.  I only chose McGonagall for Potions because I knew Dumbledore taught Transfiguration, and we know from OotP that McGonagall's been teaching at Hogwarts for thirty some years.  Anyhow, all this note just to say, I corrected my error in chapter one if anyone is interested or notices a bit of difference (if for some unfathomable reason goes back and rereads this).  Thanks for taking the time to read this story…I hope you enjoy this installment.  Please let me know what you think.  ~Jo_

****

**_Friday October 8, 1976_**__****

****

**_I was alone.  I know I shouldn't have been outside, it's dark out…but I love the full moon on a clear night._**

****

            "Oh no." Hermione sat up and began to read quickly.

            Bethany walked outside along the side of the castle where no windows looked down on the grounds, the side of the castle where the Whomping Willow was located.  Bethany steered clear of the aggressive tree to avoid any kind of trouble and, instead, chose a nice patch of grass along the castle wall where she could admire the night sky.

            Bethany's head darted around as she heard a noise.  It was definitely the sound of grass under feet, a soft crunching sound.

            A large black dog pounce out from alongside the castle wall, teeth bore growling fiercely.

            Bethany was on her feet in a second, backing slowly away.

            "It's okay puppy.  I'm not going to hurt you."  The dog lunged at Bethany and sunk its teeth in her right hand.  Bethany let out a startled shriek but did her best to stifle it while she tried to jerk her hand free.  The dog continued to hold tightly.

            "Let go pup." Bethany begged.  Tears were beginning to fill her eyes from the pain of the dogs canine teeth buried in her hand.  Blood began to run down her hand.  The dog began to tug on her arm pulling her away from the tree and back toward the castle.  Bethany let out another pained shriek, and just as she did a huge shaggy haired werewolf appeared from around the corner.  Bethany let out another scream only this one was at full blast.

            The dog released Bethany and took up a stance in front of her barking wildly at the werewolf.  The dog had no collar so Bethany grabbed the dog by the scruff of the neck and made to drag him toward the castle.  The dog flailed and Bethany lost her grip.  "COME ON, IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!"  She screamed at the dog.

            Bethany's hesitation gave the werewolf time to advance on her.  But in a flash a stag bound out of no where and leapt between the werewolf and Bethany.  Bethany stepped back holding her dog-bitten mangled hand and pressed her back against the wall as the deer bucked up and the werewolf eased back.

            "Bethany!"  Bethany turned to see Severus standing just around the castle wall.  His voice, not only, attracted Bethany's attention, but that of the werewolf, the dog, and the stag.  The werewolf didn't wait, there was a clear path to Severus.  

            "Sev run!" Bethany shrieked.  

            Severus took her advice and bolted for the castle's back entrance while the dog and the stag both jumped in front of the werewolf.  Bethany didn't wait to see the out come, she turned and ran in the other direction.  Bethany didn't stop until she was just at the castle door.  She knew better than to go in the front doors, surely she'd be greeted by a professor, or worse Peeves so she waited to catch her breath on the steps.

            "Beth."

            Bethany jumped at hearing her name.  She was shaking terribly as she looked up to see Sirius.  She didn't move just squeezed her hand tighter.  He asked her no questions as he helped her up.  "You're terrified."

            Bethany nodded.  She didn't dare tell Sirius that she'd just seen a werewolf, nor ask why he was out here this late.

            "Come on."  He told her grudgingly.  "I know a couple secret ways into the castle.  You won't get in any trouble."

            "Why are you helping me?  Don't you want to turn me in for being out of the castle past hours?"

            Sirius sighed.  Something about him had changed, it seemed as though he hated her less though she didn't know why.  "The hat may have been wrong.  You're brave enough to be a Gryffindor."

            Bethany wrinkled her brow at him.  She didn't ask what he meant, or why he'd come to that conclusion.  She was thankful he didn't ask about her hand. 

            When the two made it to the main corridor, from some hidden passageway, Bethany turned to Sirius.  "Thank you.  Can this stay between you and me…everything about tonight?"

            "I wouldn't want it any other way.  I mean if it got out that I helped a Slytherin…well, you know how it would turn out."

            Bethany smiled with a nod and then she was gone down the hall toward the Slytherin common room.

            "Sev."  Bethany sighed, and plopped down next to him, when she found him sitting in the common room.

            "What were you doing outside?"  He barked.

            Bethany raised her eyebrows at him and his sudden abruptness with her.  Her manner shifted as well as she questioned, "Why?  Where you following me?"

            Severus eyes bore into her.  "Were you seeing the werewolf intentionally?"

            "Seeing a werewolf intentionally?" Bethany asked mockingly.  "You were following me."  Bethany repeated herself.

            "You were seeing the werewolf."

            "No." Bethany shook her head.  "If I can avoid a werewolf in the future I will.  I've never seen a werewolf before."

            "Did it bite you?" He asked suddenly.

            "No." Bethany shook her head.  "That dog did.  It was strange, and I'm probably imagining it but I think that dog was trying to lead me back to the castle before the werewolf came."

            "No doubt."

            "What?" Bethany asked.  "Why were you outside?"  
            "As you predicted, I _was following you."_

            "What?"  Bethany raised her voice.  "Why?"

            "Because I was worried about you."

            "You knew the werewolf would be there."  Bethany said in sudden realization.  "You intended on letting me sit there until it got me."  Bethany stood without another word and dashed up the stairs to the girls' dormitories ignoring Severus's verbal protests.

**_I can't figure it out.  First he said he knew the werewolf was going to be there, and then he said he was worried about me?  I don't understand.  How could he know the werewolf was going to be there and why would he let me stay if he did?  And why was he following me…other than fear for my safety.  I don't think I'll go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, I think I'll stay at Hogwarts._**

            Hermione looked up from the blood and tear splattered pages.  "Of course!  Snape wanted to know if Bethany was out to see Lupin, but Bethany doesn't understand that."  Part of Hermione felt sorry for Snape, but part of her felt sorry for Bethany too…neither understood the other and both were wounded by the others actions.  There was a final part of Hermione that wanted Bethany to win Lupin over, she thought he deserved some attention.  Hermione turned the page and resumed her reading again.

~*Please let me know what you think, any comment, concern, criticism would be appreciate*~


	8. On the Town

_A/N:  I don't like splitting up the journal entries, but this one turned out to be quite long so I have.  I just want everyone to be aware that when you get to the end of this chapter it's not the end of the day.  K? Well, let me know what you think…and as always…thanks for reading!  ~Jo_

****

****

**_Saturday October 9, 1976_**__****

****

**_I changed my mind.  I went to Hogsmeade, just after I got out of the Hospital Wing with my hand bandaged.  Severus made me go and see Madam Pomfrey.  But I didn't tell _****_Bell_****_ that I was going to Hogsmeade, on the contrary I told her I wasn't going.  I'm a horrible person, I should have told her that I was going with Sev._**

            "It's just a dog bite." Bethany told Severus as they strolled through the main street of Hogsmeade.

            "Dogs can have rabies." He said with a snide smile as if he were verbally attacking someone.

            "They can." Bethany nodded.  "But I don't think that dog did.  He wasn't foaming at the mouth or anything, though he was acting strange.  Very strange."

            "That dog _is very strange."_

            Bethany laughed.  "You've seen that dog before?"

            "Many times."

            Bethany hummed. "I've never seen it."

            "Bethany I never intended on letting that werewolf get you.  I won't let that happen."  Severus looked over to her and told her seriously.

Bethany looked at Severus and did her best to wave it off as no big deal.  "Either way it doesn't matter…it's over and I'm glad it's over.  Next time I decide to go out star gazing on the grounds I won't go alone."

            "That would be wise." Severus puckered his lips.

            Bethany watched him for a few moments.  He was hiding his feelings behind a mask of anger that was very false, she could tell.  "You're still angry with me."  She said quickly.  Then, changing the direction of the conversation, she danced around him cheerfully, "Did I tell you…I got an O on my Potions exam?"

            "Bethany." Severus grabbed her by the arms and stopped her from circling him.  "Did you really? An Outstanding?"

            "Yes." She told him straight faced.

            Severus let her go instantly.  "You never needed my help.  Did you?"

            "Of course I did," Bethany said honestly.  "I couldn't have done it alone Sev."

            "I'm not mad at you."  He said suddenly.  "Not still angry, I mean."

            Bethany eyed him.  "You were angry?"  She questioned.

            "Yes." Severus nodded.

            Bethany smiled.  "Yet you still wanted to come to Hogsmeade with me?"

            Severus was walking casually with his hands behind his back and peering in the stores they passed by.  He did not look at her as he spoke.  "Nothing would change that Bethany."

            Bethany's demeanor went serious.  "You were mad at me because I was out on the grounds last night?"

            "Because you were out on the grounds _alone_." Severus corrected.

            Bethany smiled, but Severus couldn't see her because he was still looking at the items in the shop windows.

**_It all came into focus.  He was worried because he knew the werewolf was going to be there, so he followed me.  I wish he just would have told me that.  Sev is a strange person, I would like to understand him a bit better._**

            Bethany pulled Severus into a nearby shop avoiding Bellatrix who was off with a few other Slytherin girls that had huddled around a guy that graduated Hogwarts a few years back.  Bethany remembered him, though she could not place his name, they had always called him by this surname: Lestrange.

            Severus was staring at her when Bethany's attention brought her way from the window and back to Severus.  He was no fool, and Bethany was sorry she'd acted so quickly.  "You're avoiding your friends?"  He covered the hurt sound in his voice with volume.

            "Always." Bethany attempted to ease the blow with a half truth.

            Severus looked around at the tea shop Bethany had pulled him into.  "Then you meant to bring me here?"

            Bethany looked around.  Madam Puddifoot's place was a tea shop for couples.  She froze.  Several pairs had diverted their attention to the new arrivals, one pair of which was Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black.  Two tables over James Potter and Lily Evans peered up too.

            Lucius cut the awkward moment for Bethany.  "Severus, Bethany, please join Narcissa and I."  He offered up two extra seats.

            Bethany's eyes caught Lily's.  Her pleading expression vanished when Lily turned back to James.

            "Lucius, thank you." Severus nodded and accepted the offer.

            Lucius continued to stand as Bethany eased over.  He was a proud, handsome man, with broad shoulders and a haughty, arrogant look.  He smiled at Bethany and pulled her chair out for her, "I've heard so much about you and your family Miss Spence."

            "Likewise." Bethany did her best to smile, but she was certain it came out looking more like a grimace.

            "Your family owns the Terra property right?"

            Bethany nodded.

            "A very old and prestigious landing.  Is your father still a member of the Ministry?"

            "Yes." Bethany smiled and nervously explained, "While I am at school he and my mother freelance for the Ministry of Magic's International Magic Cooperation and both sit on the International Confederation of Wizards, British Seats.  But this year they've been tending to the Terra.  It's taken them seven years, since it's come into their hands, to realize that it takes maintenance and upkeep.  They're going to have to hire help."

            "I'm glad to finally have met you." Lucius nodded properly.  "Narcissa speaks of you often."

            "You're friends with Severus dear?" Narcissa said taking Lucius's arm, like a good little lady.

            "Oh yes." Lucius nodded to Narcissa then smiled at Severus.  "We have been for some time."

            Bethany frowned, she knew Narcissa and she knew what would happen.  Narcissa wouldn't mention to Bellatrix that she had seen Severus and Bethany out together to spare her having to explain that Lucius and Severus were friends.  But now it was going to be okay to associate with Severus because he was accepted by Lucius.  Bethany's frown creased her face deeper, she didn't like this game.

            Severus's face remained expressionless as he nodded and ordered up a cup of tea.  Severus looked to Bethany, "What will you have?"

            "Peppermint please," Bethany told the waitress.

            "Ah, a fine choice." Lucius told her.

            Bethany looked over to Lucius, she did her best to nod as proudly as he did.  She found his behavior quite odd.  Though it was expected, he was a proud pure blood and he was out of school so he took the nobility, and prestigious-ness of meeting other pure bloods as an art.  He was trying to make political ties, Bethany knew the territory.

            "Excuse me." Bethany finally found something to say.  She didn't wait for them to approve that she was excused, she simply leapt up and dashed out the door.  She scooted around the corner and behind Madam Puddifoot's where no one would see her, so that she could regain her composure.  She needed strength to be able to address pure bloods properly, as she had to behave at home.

            Bethany sighed as she rested her back against the building.  As she took in a few deep breaths and the pounding in her head was soothed she heard a cry that sounded something like a moaning howl.  Her eyes darted up a hill to the direction of the sound.  She had never seen it, but she'd heard of it.  A top the green knoll was a tiny broken down abode: the Shrieking Shack.  If Bethany could have taken a step back she would have.  It was a good distance away in a secluded patch of grass, but seeing it and hearing the cries (that all the locals talked about) startled her.

            "Scared?"

            Bethany nearly leapt out of her skin.  "Sirius!  I wasn't, but I am now."  She gave the snickering boy a jab in the ribs.  

            "What are you doing back here?" He asked as his laughs subsided.

            "I was just about to ask you the same question."

            "I'm looking out for Remy." Sirius said casually.

            Bethany raised her eyebrows.  "Remus said he wasn't coming to Hogsmeade."

            Sirius hummed and nodded as if lying were a common practice for Remus.  Another raging howl came from the shack.  Bethany jumped.

            "Calm down Beth." Sirius told her.  "I've never seen you like this."

            "Have you ever met Lucius Malfoy?"

            "Ah, now I know what's gotten into you.  Do you like him or do you hate him?"

            "What?" Bethany asked.

            "Well every girl I've met (or anybody at all, for that matter), that's met Lucius is shaken up because they either love him or hate him…there's no happy medium with that guy."

            "Well I'm pretty neutral toward him, so I may be a first.  However, if I had to lean in a direction it would be the dislike side."

            Sirius nodded casually.  "I see."

            Bethany, taking Sirius's body language as him disbelieving her, went on to say, "I'm interested in somebody else."

            "Please don't tell me it's Snivellus."  Sirius groaned.

            "Oh no," Bethany shook her head.  "He's my Potions tutor.  We're friends."

            "You're too good for him Beth."  Sirius said casually.  
            "Remus?"  Bethany asked quickly, surprised that Sirius picked up on her 'interest'.

            "You're too good for him too, but I meant Severus."  Sirius smiled playfully and leaned back folding his arms over his chest.

            "Sirius," Peter arrived at that moment out of breath.  "Hey Beth," Peter smiled over to her.  "What are you guys talking about?"

            "Sky, clouds, you know…the usual."  Sirius told Peter and discretely gave Bethany a wink.  

            "Oh," Peter didn't ask questions he simply turned to Sirius.  "I need you to come with me."

Sirius nodded at Peter as if he telepathically understood Peter's problem.  "I'll talk to you later," Sirius told Bethany.

            Bethany watched the two head off together wondering how she would cover for her mistake of telling Sirius something she hadn't intended on telling anyone.


	9. The Political Game

_A/N:  After much turmoil I've made a few executive decisions on this story…and we'll start seeing a lot more interaction with Hermione to execute these line end decisions I've made.  I've been roughing around the ending of this story and essentially Beth for some time now.  I thought I knew what was going to happen at the end of this story when I started it, but now I'm not so sure.  I wasn't so sure, I should say, I clarified it with myself and my advisor of this grand adventure today and I've come to a hard, real and concrete decision about what has or hasn't become of the present day Beth.  Anyway, I also wanted to say that I'm sorry if anyone is disappointed because there is no real action going on, there probably won't be because this story was meant to extrapolate on the characters and allow me to play with them…which I have done immensely and enjoyed it too.  Anyway, this part of the story triggers what the summary says this story is about…and Hermione starts to wonder…_

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**_I got my strength to deal with the political games of Lucius, Sissy, and Sev from the new light shed on the lying man I've endeared myself to.  He lied, he did come to Hogsmeade.  I didn't even want to see him after that charade, I still don't…I'm too frustrated at the moment.  At first I was surprised, after it sank in anger came over me.  Okay, maybe a little hurt, but definitely madness.  I'm mad at me too for somehow being dumb enough to let it slip in front of Sirius, but from his actions and words to Peter I get the distinct impression that he won't be disclosing that information to anyone.  However, if I know Sirius I'll have to live with his playful taunts about it.  Taunts I'm not sure I can handle right now._**

            Bethany turned and darted back around the building and into the tea shop.  She presented the group with a slick smile as she proceeded to sit.

            "Are you well?" Narcissa asked properly.

            "Positively." Bethany smiled.  "Couldn't be better. Please," she raised her tea cup to Lucius, "tell me how your family is faring."

            Lucius tipped his head and nodded, placing his cup down.  "Not well, you know about all the new Muggle Protection laws going into effect December first."

            Bethany looked concerned as she nodded.  "I do.  What a mess the Ministry is these days."

            "Agreed." Lucius smiled.

            Bethany sipped her tea and chatted up the disgraces of wizard kind, the troubles at the government levels for wizards, and how the weather was in France.  She pretended to have a good time and Lucius seemed impressed, and, in turn, Narcissa glowed at Bethany's performance.

            "See you later." Bethany waved them off and turned back to Severus once they'd gone.

**_I could see it on his face, Sev thought I was quite the Slytherin Princess I tried to deny.  He wouldn't understand, he couldn't understand.  I didn't bother trying to explain._**

            "Well," Bethany said.  "Now that you know all about my family and their ins and outs tell me about yours."

            "I don't talk about them." Severus said.

            "You're a pure blood.  Surely they own land, or a small farming community, or something equally as fascinating."  Bethany wasn't trying to sound snippy, but her words betrayed her and she sounded quite nasty.

            "No." Severus shook his head.

            "I see." Bethany tossed a galleon on the table.  "Let's get out of here."

            Severus picked up the gold and handed it to her.  He said nothing as he paid the check and swept out of Madam Puddifoot's.  Bethany followed.  It wasn't until they had walked the length of Hogsmeade and back again that Bethany realized they'd said nothing, and it was a shout coming from the Shrieking Shack that made her realize they'd been silent for so long.  It was in this moment that she realized they were behind Madam Puddifoot's as well.  Bethany looked up to the building.  She raised her chin and did her best not to look frightened.

            "It scares you." Severus said.

            "What?" Bethany snapped.

            "You're afraid of it."

            Bethany looked over to Severus and snorted, "I am not."

            Severus shook his head and spoke forcefully, with the most conviction she'd heard from him.  "Something's happened.  You aren't yourself."

            "I most certainly am."

            "But you're not.  You're different."

            Bethany's eyes scanned him for a brief moment before she had to bite her lip to keep from crying.  Severus watched her, almost fearful that she might burst into tears.  Finally, she stomped her foot and turned away from him.

**_Bumbling idiot…I couldn't help it._**

            Bethany's tears fell like rain, "I hate it!  I hate him!  I hate her!  I hate my parents, I hate my life and I hate all my friends!  Satisfied?"  She spun on him, "I hate tradition, I hate ritual.  I hate Pure Bloods.  I hate Mudbloods.  I hate!  I hate!  I hate!  I hate this place.  I just want to be a Muggle with a normal life."

            Severus, stood, and Bethany drew back.  She turned away from him again, folded her arms over her chest and cried uncontrollably.  She was making noise, but nothing sensible.

            "Bethany." Severus reached out a shaking hand to her.  When she didn't move he placed it on her shoulder.

            "I swear, if you mention this to anyone…that I cried…" Bethany trailed off as the tears racked her.

            "It's between you and me."  Severus said.  His hand was still perched on her shoulder.  He had never been one for knowing how to handle upset people.  He didn't know how to comfort Bethany now, but he felt better reaching out to her.  In an instant Bethany had swung back around and clung to Severus, sobbing in his robes.  Severus, taken aback, slowly wrapped his arms around her and held her lightly as she continued to cry.

**_Idiot…idiot…idiot._****_  I took Sev for granted, he could see right through me.  He knew I wasn't really that girl in Madam Puddifoot's playing like I was actually interested in what Pure Blood was marrying what half-blood or Mudblood.  Like I cared what new law the Ministry had passed or even what my parents were pushing to get done.  Severus used Lucius for those political ties, he might like him, but they were just convenient for one another.  There was a time that I cared where my fortunes lie, but not now._**

            Hermione woke the next morning the journal laying across her chest still in her clothes.  She jumped out of bed and changed quickly, she tugged a brush through her hair and grabbed her books shoveling them in her bag.

            She ran out of the dormitory, through the common room and across the castle toward the Great Hall.  "Why didn't Ginny wake me?"  She asked herself as she bolted around a corner slamming into someone.

            Books flew everywhere, and two bodies sprawled out on the ground.

            Hermione shook her head and glanced at the person she'd nearly run over.  It was a young man Hermione had never seen before.  He was a handsome dark skinned man, wearing black robes and a smile.  He offered his hand to help her up, "I'm so sorry."

            "It was my fault."

            He bent and collected her books first and handed them to her, "I should have been paying attention to where I was going."

            She accepted them from him and smiled shyly as he collected up his four books.

            He chuckled softly and gave her a sideways grin, "Forgive me, I'm looking for Professor Dumbledore.  This place is huge and I'm having difficulty navigating."  He shook his head, tucked a shoulder length black hair behind his ear and stroked his close clipped goatee, "Again I'm sorry for my rudeness, I'm Sal."

            Hermione blushed.  "Hermione."

            Sal cocked an eyebrow at her, his lopsided grin remaining.  "Can you point me toward wherever it might be that Dumbledore is?"

            Hermione pondered it for a moment and when she opened her mouth to speak Dumbledore's friendly voice echoed in the hall first.  "Pleasant day isn't it?"

            Both Hermione and Sal turned to Dumbledore.

            "It is." Sal looked over his shoulder, out the window onto the snow covered grounds.

            "Hermione, if you don't hurry you'll miss breakfast."  Dumbledore told her happily.

            Hermione nodded and dashed off past the two in the hall with no words, but her mind was turning and she couldn't seem to get the image of the Headmaster's young friend out of her thoughts.


	10. At the Library

_A/N:  I hope you guys have patience…because this chapter is long…I couldn't break it up…I just couldn't.  Anyhow, I hope you like it.  Please let me know what you think.  Thanks for reading!  ~Jo_

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**_Monday October 11, 1976_**

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**_Lily found me in the library today._**

            "How's your hand?" She asked.

            "Okay." Bethany held up a wrapped hand.  "I'm finding it tough to write."

            Lily smiled.  "Are you going to go to the first Quiddich match on Friday?  Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw."

            "I don't know." Bethany looked back at her book.  "I have a lot of school work to do."

            "Come on Beth." Lily pleaded.  "James is playing and I don't want to go alone."

            "Go with Sirius and Remus and Peter."

            "Sirius is no fun to go to the games with, he takes them too seriously and Remus is no fun to go with either, because he doesn't take the game seriously enough.  And Peter's just no fun.  There's a happy middle and I know you can play Quiddich…I know you're good."

            "What gives you that idea?" Bethany asked.

            "Remus." Lily said.  "He watched you practice by yourself one time."

            Bethany's face fell she stared awkwardly at Lily.

            "What?" Lily asked, and then she laughed. "I've got spies everywhere."

            "Well," Bethany sighed flipping through her book.  "Your spies tend to be liars."

            "What do you mean?" Lily asked.

            Bethany waved a hand.  "Never mind.  It's nothing."

            Lily frowned.  "You're being very stand-offish.  You're beginning to remind me of Severus.  Maybe you're spending too much time with him.  Something you're not telling me Beth?"

            "No," Bethany snapped.  "Well yes…but I don't want to talk about it."

            "You're seeing Severus!" Lily nearly shrieked.

            "NO!"  Bethany barked looking around the library making sure that no one heard Lily's accusation.

            "You're not seeing him?"

            "No."  
            "There's something else then?"

            Bethany nodded.  "But I really haven't got it in me to discuss it right now…okay?  Can I talk about it with you later, when I've recovered?"

            "At the match?" Lily smiled.

            Bethany shook her head.  "Not at the match, but I'll go."  Bethany looked up from her book and smiled at Lily.  "You know, most Slytherins are going to be cheering the Ravenclaws on.  I'm going to be making a faux pas."

            "You've never been one to follow the standards anyhow." Lily smiled.

            Bethany nodded.  "I guess not."

            "Nope," Sirius plopped down next to Bethany slinging an arm over her shoulder.  "Never been one to follow the standard…have you?"

            "I don't know what you mean." Bethany told Sirius as Remus sat down on the other side of her dropping a few books on the table.  James took his place next to Lily, and Peter sat aside James.          

            "Don't be modest Beth," Sirius grinned.  "It's not everyday that people choose dating taboos."

            "What's taboo about Beth and Severus?" James asked.

            Bethany shot James a nasty glare.  "Severus is my friends.  Can I make this any clearer?"

            "Is he?" Sirius poked her playfully and laughed.

            "Knock it off!" She growled at Sirius.  She looked back to James and told him very pointedly.  "If you have difficulty with my choice of friends, perhaps you should reconsider what I mean to you.  I am entitled to choose my friends, and I pick them carefully mind you.  I will not deny my friendship with Severus because I am also friends with you.  And vise versa.  Now, it's your turn…can you accept that I am your friend and Severus's too?"

            James nodded, staring wide eyed at Bethany.  He'd never heard her speak so forcefully.  "Yeah Beth, we're friends."

            "Good.  Anyone else have a problem?" Bethany looked at Peter, who promptly shook his head nervously.  She turned her gaze on Sirius, who simply smiled.  She glanced at Remus, but he didn't get the chance to answer before she turned away again.

            "What are you studying for Beth?" Remus questioned peeking over to her book.

            Beth finally turned her direct attention to him.  "Have you heard of the Righteous Brothers, Shelley Fabares, or the Shirelles?"

            Remus shook his head.

            "Neither had I.  I'm studying for a Music of the Muggles Last Decade exam.  I can't remember who sang what, or when."

            "Is that what this book is about?" Remus asked.

            "Yes." Bethany said.

            Sirius gave her hip a bump in Remus's direction.  She slid a bit closer to him on the bench.  He smiled weakly at her, but she drew away from him with no expression whatsoever.  "I didn't know you were seeing Severus," Remus told her quietly.  "That explains why you had yourself thrown in the lake for him."

            Bethany glared at Remus.  "I'm NOT seeing Severus!  I had myself thrown in the lake because he's my friend.  How many times do I have to explain this to you people?!"

            Everyone was staring at Bethany wondering what had spawned such an outburst.  No one had heard Remus speak to her.  She stood quickly and scooped her book up and glanced at Sirius then back at Remus. "I'll tell you the same thing I told Sirius…I'm interested in someone else!  Thank you all very much!"  She shouted sarcastically.

            "Quick, tell her she's too good for Severus."  Sirius chuckled.

            "Shut up!" Bethany shouted at Sirius.

            "Way to go Moony." Sirius laughed clapping Remus on the shoulder.  "You pissed her off."

            Bethany raised an eyebrow at Sirius and turned to leave.  "Excuse me."

**_It had to have been Sirius's doing.  It must have._**

            "Beth."

            Bethany stopped and turned to see Remus following her down the hallway.

            "I'm sorry."  He told her quickly.

            "Right." Bethany grumbled.  "This isn't funny.  You all can just stay out of it, and leave me alone.  I really am interested in someone, and he's not Severus.  Though, each day, I like him a little less."

            "Beth." Remus caught her by the shoulders.  "What's gotten into you?  I've never seen you this sharp on your tongue."

            "Where were you this weekend Remus?" Bethany asked suddenly.  "What did you do?"

            "I wasn't well.  I stayed in my room all weekend."

            Bethany nodded and looked away biting her lip hard to keep from swearing.  "You don't have to lie to me.  If you're really that disinterested in spending time with me say it plain."

            Remus laughed nervously, "What do you mean?"

            "Sirius told me you were at Hogsmeade."

            "Sirius told you what?" Remus asked in disbelief.

            "That you were at Hogsmeade.  You told me you weren't going to be there."  Bethany looked him straight in the eye.

            "Beth," Remus breathed airily scooping her into a hug.  It was very off character for him, and especially at that moment.  Bethany felt awkward being held by him in the hallway, she was still clinging to her books.  One was poking her in the ribs because he was holding her so tightly.

            "Remus." She tired to pull away, but she felt his breath on her shoulder linger there for a moment before she jerked free.

            "Oh." Remus shook his head.  "I'm so sorry."  He said as if he were disoriented for a moment.  Remus reached up and touched his temple and closed his eyes.  "You've got it wrong Beth."

            "She's got what wrong?" Severus's voice was tight and crisp cutting into the conversation.

            Remus simply looked over to Severus and shook his head still looking a bit confused.

            "Stay away from her." Severus told Remus plainly.

            Bethany scooted back, taking a step toward Severus.  Bethany's expression was pleading, as if she were begging Remus for an explanation, and until she got answers she was going to remain in the safety of Severus's presence.

            Remus was watching Bethany, his eyes never left her.  He didn't speak he turned and walked back into the library.

            Bethany looked over to Severus.  He was checking her over as if looking for something.

            "Sev?" She questioned.

            Severus finally dusted her robes off around her shoulders, "I was looking for you.  You hadn't shown up for your Potions tutoring."

            Bethany smacked her forehead and said, "I'm sorry Sev.  Come on."  She grabbed up his hand and headed down the hall toward the dungeon.  "I was absorbed in…in…" her words trailed and then she found what she was trying to say, "Muggle Studies.  I've considered being a correspondent for the Ministry…you know actually hold a Muggle office so that I can have influence and help the Ministry."

**_I can still feel it, his breath on my robes.  It was uncanny and very odd.  I never thought that I'd be saying I didn't feel safe in Remus's presence…but I'm saying it now.  He made me feel strange, he was strong and I thought for a moment I wouldn't get away.  After Potions it made a little more sense, but not enough for me to entirely grasp what he was doing._**

            Bethany left the Potions classroom well after Severus.  She had stayed and cleaned up everything.  She told Severus to go one ahead because she felt like she wanted some time to just think.

            Bethany paused as she heard voices coming her way.

            "It was difficult.  Something about her, the way she looked at me, the way she blinked, the flash of her neck as she breathed, and her smell.  I'm an animal."

            Bethany recognized Remus's voice and she heard two sets of foot steps.

            She heard a laugh, a definite and very unique laugh: it was James.

            "Moony really, I'm sure she didn't notice.  Beth's a great person, she's really understanding and she's not a hypocrite.  She'll tell you straight.  But if you feel that bad about it, talk to her."

            "Prongs." Remus sighed as their footsteps got closer to Bethany.  "It's not that easy, I was trying to apologize for whatever I did in the library.  She hates me, but she likes you guys."

            "We've never let her get thrown in a lake then gave her a row about it."

            "I didn't give her a row."

            "Yes you did."

            "All right, maybe I did.  But I told her I was sorry and she believed me.  I was sorry.  I don't understand it.  I just want to be close to her like you guys, like Sirius.  She laughs at Sirius, she doesn't scream at him."

            "I distinctly heard her scream at him in the library.  It went something like this…" James cleared his throat, "'Shut up!'  Besides mate, she's close to Severus.  Sirius and Severus have nothing in common."  James's voice came quietly as if he were suggestion something that were illegal.  "If you like her that much maybe you should ask her out."

            "I'm afraid of her Prongs, I like her enough to be frightened.  Why can't she like me like she likes Sirius?  Besides when did he decided Beth was all right, last I knew he hated her."

            James sighed, "When she tried to save an innocent dog from some werewolf I know."

            "I didn't-"

            "You did."

            Bethany reached out and opened the classroom door and shut it quickly and loudly as if she were just exiting, then she jolted around the corner.  "Oh," she pretended to look surprised.  "James, Remus."

            "Beth." Remus smiled, but it passed quickly.

            James grinned raising his eyebrows, "Listen Remy I gotta go find Lily…I told her I'd actually study tonight.  I'll see you later.  Bye Beth."

            Remus and Bethany both watched James disappear down the hall, shuffling along with his hands in his pockets.

            "Listen I'm sorry Beth, about all of this and about all the confusion.  I was thinking maybe we could put it behind us and start over new."

            Bethany watched him for a few moment, and her breath caught in her throat nervously.  "Sure.  You want to explain to me why you lied?"

            "I will, but not now.  Okay?"

            Bethany nodded.  "You going to explain your strange behavior outside the library too?"

            Remus nodded.  "Later?"

            Bethany sighed with a pleasant smile, "All right."

            "Listen." Remus looked around the vacant hallway nervously.  "Do you think, maybe, we could go to the Quidditch game together on Friday?"

            "Remus I'd love to.  But, I already told Lily I'd go with her."

            "We can all go together then." Remus smiled.

            "Sure." Bethany grinned.

**_He's still a mystery to me, and though I am slightly frightened by him, there is nothing that will keep me from saying I'll go with him wherever he asks.  The Friday Quidditch match will be a start._**

            "Whatcha reading?" Ron asked.

            "Nothing." Hermione slipped the book in her bag.  She watched Ron and Harry exchange inquisitive looks.

            Ron picked up, quickly changing the subject, "I hear that Professor Snape is out for the rest of the term."

            "Ron," Hermione shook her bushy brown hair around her face, "that's only two more days."

            "Two less days of Potions is fine by me." Harry grumbled.

            "I think he's doing Order stuff.  Dad says Snape's been at the Ministry every day for the past three weeks."

            "What's the Order up to now?" Hermione asked.

            Ron shrugged, "I don't know, but I think whatever Snape's been up to Dad's been helping him.  I think Snape's still reporting as a Death Eater.  Things have been going on around Grimmauld Place enough that mum and dad are staying there over the Christmas Holiday.  That means we will be too, mate." Ron told Harry.

            "I'm going too." Hermione said.  "Do you know if Professor Lupin will be there?"

            Ron nodded.  "Dad's mentioned him a couple times.  I think that he's taking shifts for the Order too."

            Hermione was watching Ron as she shoveled a forkful of eggs in her mouth, just then doors to the Grand Hall opened.  She almost choked on her eggs when she saw Sal, again, walking alongside Dumbledore.  They were chatting happily.  Both took seats at the teachers' table and began to eat.

            Harry had to nudge Hermione to get her to move.  When Harry poked her in the arm she blinked and looked around to Harry.  "I'm sorry."

            Harry just raised his eyebrows at her. She glanced sideways at Ron, whose ears were pink.

            Hermione clicked her tongue, slightly disgusted with herself, as she picked up her glass of pumpkin juice.  "Oh for heaven sakes, what are you two staring at me for?"

            Harry simply snickered and Ron went back to his plate.  But once her friends had turned their attention to something else Hermione glanced up at the teachers' table to catch a glimpse of Sal.

            "What do you suppose we'll do here?" Harry asked.  "With no teacher I mean."

            "What's this I hear about no teacher?" A friendly voice entered the dank dungeon.

            All the O.W.L.s Potions students turned to see the young friend of Dumbledore's in the doorway.

            "I will be standing in for Professor Snape until his return, which will probably be after Christmas.  Let's keep our fingers crossed, I hate Potions…but that doesn't mean I'm not good at them."  Sal glided up to the front of the class.  "Since those might not be the circumstances and I might be here longer than I, or you, anticipate I thought I'd say a few words about myself and then let you work on the potion Professor Snape had you working on."  He paused and took a breath, then smiled at Hermione.  "I'm Sal.  You don't have to call me Professor or anything like that…Sal will do fine.  I graduated last year from the Academy of Alchemy in Altamonte Springs Florida.  That's in the United States.  I've been away from England since I went to the Academy, so my ways might be a little different and it'll take me a little while to get used to how things are done over here.  So, please, bear with me.

            "All right," Sal nodded.  "I don't want to keep you from your potions any longer than I must."  He snapped his fingers and the ingredients and instructions that had been on the black board for the past three days appeared.  "I'm under the impression that you've been working on this for some time, so I'll let you to it.  But if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.  I know the crystallization of the Cantilla can be tricky."

            It instantly seemed like everyone had questions.  In fact no one was getting the Paralyzed Potion Antidote but Hermione, everyone had been too afraid of Snape to ask questions about it.  Sal patiently went to each raised hand or pleading voice and helped them along.

            "See.  Why can't Professor Snape be like that?" Hermione asked Harry in a hushed frustrated voice.  "He might get a lot further with us if he did.  And loads more students would have passed their Potions O.W.L."

            "Yeah Hermione." Harry said methodically, not really hearing what she was going on about.

            Hermione resumed reading in the library after lunch.


	11. Beth

_A/N:  We're getting there now, and all will become clear…realize the approaching ending is the result of much toil and thought.  I hope you all like it.  It will all make sense…if it doesn't now…I promise.  I'm anticipating one more installment after this one, perhaps two.  But when I've posted the ending I've decided on, I will post the ending I wrote when I started this story, just so you can see how it's changed (and if you like that ending, you may accept that one).  Yes, I wrote the last page or so after I'd started this story because I had a goal in mind.  Please, please, please let me know what you think…this was the hardest chapter for me to accept and I'm still not sure so I really need your feedback.  Thanks for reading.  ~Jo_

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**_Friday October 15, 1976_**__****

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**_What a match!_**

            "COME ON!"  Lily shouted nearly smacking Remus in the head with a flag.  Then she plopped back down with a frown.  "He missed it."

            "We saw." Bethany smiled.

            "It was right there." 

            "I know."

            "How could he have missed it?" Lily groaned.

            "Lily look!" Bethany was on her feet in an instant.  Peter leapt up and almost fell over the railing into a group of second year Gryffindors.  Sirius was shouting and Remus was holding onto Bethany's waist so she didn't tumble over where Peter almost had.

            James was skirting the Quidditch Pitch, Alexis Bobble, the Ravenclaw seeker, right on his tale.  They zoomed around the Pitch until the snitch zoomed straight up and Alexis made the mistake of following it up.  James stayed low and Alexis's broom gave and she tumbled down catching her spiraling fall just inches from the hard ground.  Now James was rising slowly, he leaned far over on his broom and got an extra bit of zip before reaching out, dodging a Bludger, and scooping up the snitch.

            Roars rang out through the stands and the announcer was shouting, "GRYFFINDOR WINS!  JAMES POTTER IS UNSTOPPABLE!"

            "Come on let's go meet him."  Lily pushed past Bethany and Remus.  

Sirius had gotten to his feet and turned back to Peter.  "Hey Pete, go get me a Butterbeer."

            "You have two arms and two legs, get it yourself.  I'm going to see James." Peter told Sirius.

            Bethany looked over to Remus who smiled and chuckled, "He's going to go into James worship mode for a bit now, then he'll switch to me or Sirius again when we do something really great."

            Bethany shook her head.

**_Peter: the narrow minded follower, he'll never change._**

            Hermione checked her watch, she was late for Defense Against the Dark Arts.  She grabbed up all her things and dashed out of the library.

            "Whoa!"  Sal grabbed Hermione before she barreled him over again.  "You're in a hurry wherever you go aren't you?"

            Hermione found herself unable to speak.

            Sal laughed and stepped aside, "Go ahead, I wouldn't want to be the reason you're late to class."

            Hermione tried to say something but couldn't, so she just scooted past him and took off at a run again.

            "Hermione!  Where are you going?" Ron called to Hermione who ran by him.

            "Ron?" She came to a stop and turned back to him.  "Why aren't you in Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

            "Cancelled." Ron said.

            "Oh."

            "What's gotten into you?" Ron asked.  "You're never late to class."

            "I don't know." Hermione frowned.  "I haven't felt much like myself lately."

            "What are we going to do?" Harry asked, approaching his friends.

            "I'm going to pack." Hermione said.

            "No Hermione," Ron said.  "Don't go hide in your room again."

            Hermione looked to Harry as if hoping he'd say she hadn't been hiding in her room.  When he didn't speak she snorted, "I've not been hiding.  But fine, I'll do whatever you guys do."

            "Wizard chess?" Ron asked Harry.

            Harry nodded, "All right."

            When the trio made it back to the common room Hermione excused herself, promising she'd be back in 'just a moment'.  She ran up dropping her books on her bed.  She took the journal and put it in the bottom of the bag she was going to take over Christmas Holiday at Grimmauld Place, telling herself she wasn't going to look at again until they were away from Hogwarts.

            The next few days were a blur.  Classes sped by, and the three were on the Hogwarts Express before they knew it.

            Hermione was tired, and didn't really remember being led through the Underground to London and up the steps to 12 Grimmauld Place.  She hadn't been sleeping right, in fact she realized now that she hadn't been living right.  She'd been too absorbed in someone else's life.

            Hermione vaguely remembered being called down for dinner when she woke up sometime just before dawn.  She had told Mrs. Weasley that she wasn't hungry.  For the first time Hermione had ever seen, Mrs. Weasley hadn't insisted that she, Hermione, come down and eat.  Hermione got out of her bed, careful not to wake Ginny.  She looked through her bag and pulled out Bethany's journal.

            She padded lightly across the house to a wing she'd not been through in the times she'd stayed at 12 Grimmauld Place.  The hall was clean, Mrs. Weasley was a very efficient tidier.  Hermione's mind drifted to Sal, she wondered if she'd see him again or if Professor Snape would have returned by the time Christmas was over.  It was evil, but the thought that Snape returned to Voldemort permanently crossed her mind and she doted on it for a moment, thinking that Sal would have to stay and teach Potions.  Then she wondered if she'd see him over Christmas holiday.  She laughed at the herself and how ridiculous the thought itself was, Sal had no reason to be at the meeting place for the Order.

            Hermione paused at a closed door.  She knew all the adults were staying across the large house, and all her friends were in the rooms around hers so this wing would be vacant and it was out of the way, therefore she wouldn't disturb anyone or have to worry about waking anyone.

            Hermione froze in the doorway upon seeing that this room was occupied.  The woman propped up in the bed smiled.  She was thin and pale, her eyes were dark and she looked tired, but none-the-less she was awake.  Her skin was shallow from her underweight nature, but she still smiled.  She looked as though she had been a lovely woman and could one day grow back to being beautiful if only because of her encouraging smile.

            Hermione smiled back, weakly.

            "Please," the woman said in a soft broken voice.  "Come in."

            "I'm sorry." Hermione said.  "I didn't mean to disturb you."

            "Nonsense, I could use the company."  Her voice was returning, less broken, but still soft as if she hadn't used it in years.

            Hermione entered.  As soon as she got to the chair next to the bed and sat aside the woman Hermione recognized her.  Worn and aged beyond her young years, yet still pleasant in appearance was Bethany Spence.

            "Are you all right dear?" Bethany asked.

            "Yes," Hermione said airily.

            Bethany smiled and Hermione paused.  Finally she extended the journal to Bethany.  "I'm sorry Ms. Spence I've read your journal, at least part of it.  I found it in my vanity."

            Bethany looked at the book clutched in Hermione's hand and chuckled.  Bethany took it from Hermione and ran a thin hand, that had two puncture wound scars from Sirius, over the worn leather cover, "Ms. Spence?  Oh I haven't been called that in years.  If my memory serves me I gave this to Lily Evans, before she was Lily Potter, for safe keeping, and she graduated Hogwarts and I never saw it again.  Remus will have a fantastic time reading it."

            "You're not angry that I read it?"

            "Heavens no," Bethany said.  "Isn't that why we write things down, to share them?  It always feels good to share, even with a book.  I'm sure you've had a fun time too, reading the very confused thoughts of a sixteen year old girl."

            "Ms. Spence-"

            "Please call me Beth."

            "Beth, what happened?  I didn't get all the way through."

            Beth smiled and handed the journal back.  "If you'd like, you may finish.  But when you're done I'd like it back so I can give it to Remus."

            Hermione took the journal and nodded.  "I'm Hermione."

            "It's a pleasure to meet you Hermione."  Bethany smiled.  "Now tell me, what troubles you?  I can see worry in your eyes."

            "I've spent the past few weeks wondering about you.  I grew to live in your world and get to know you, thought I've not heard of you before.  I have loads of contact with the Order because I'm friends with Harry and Ron.  You were friends with James, Professor Lupin, and even Sirius, Professor Snape too.  I thought something awful had happened and that's why I hadn't heard of you, or met you."

            "That's very kind of you Hermione, worrying about someone you don't even know.  Something awful did happen, but that's neither here nor there.  I'm just glad to be back here."  Bethany said.

            "Did you marry Professor Lupin?"  Hermione asked suddenly.  "Is that why you want him to have this?"

            Bethany laughed.  "Have you ever had a crush Hermione?"

            "What?"

            "Have you?" Bethany raised her eyebrows.

            "Sort of, I guess.  I mean I do now."

            "Does your heart beat fast when you see him?  Does your tongue get tied and your stomach fill with butterflies when you think of him?"

            Hermione nodded shamefully embarrassed.

            "It fades."

            "What?" Hermione asked.

            "Tell me about your crush."  Bethany said.

            "Well, we have this substitute Potions Professor, Sal.  Our regular teacher, Professor Snape, has been doing Order business.  It's great because Snape is mean, he's hard and can be nasty.  You know how he is, he's the Potions Master at Hogwarts now, you were friends with him in school."

            Bethany nodded.

Hermione went on, "Sal's nice though, patient, he actually helps us.  Everybody likes Sal.  We…I…hope we can keep him for our Potions Professor.  I know that won't happen, I am realistic too.  Professor Snape is very good, you know that too though, don't you?"

            Bethany nodded again.

            "Well, I met Sal in the hall one day.  He's just…" she sighed, "I don't know…perfect."

            "Perfect in your eyes.  You must understand that journal was written in the slanted view of a head strong girl who sounds a lot like you.  This infatuation with Sal will pass and then you'll see."

            "See what?"

            Bethany laughed and shook her head as if she couldn't wait any longer to ask, "I feel like the day in the alley behind Madam Puddifoot's with Sirius when he asked me if I hated or loved Lucius Malfoy.  You say that you don't like Sev but you like Sal?"

            Hermione nodded, "Oh yes, everybody likes Sal."

            Bethany smiled and the door opened, surprising both Hermione and Bethany.

            Hermione's breath caught in her throat and she found it difficult to move, just as Bethany had when she would have run-ins with Remus.  Sal stood in the doorway his black robes swishing around him.  He smiled at Hermione, "Hello Hermione."

            "Hi." She choked out.

            He turned his attention to Bethany and he sighed happily.  "Mum."

            "Salazar."  Bethany smiled weakly.  "Happy birthday."


	12. The Snape Family Story

_A/N:  YEAH!!!! It's over!  I hope you like the end…and I hope it all makes sense now.  Please let me know what you think.  Oh yeah, and check out the next chapter…cuz as I said that can be accepted at the final chapter if you eliminate all the scenes with Sal and pick up clean where Hermione comes to 12 Grimmauld place.  The other ending was the original ending just keep that in mind when you read both endings.  Thanks all of you who have stuck through this story with me.  It's been a fun journey.  ~Jo_        

"Thank you but am I in trouble?" Sal teased her.  "I haven't been called that in years.  Well," he rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't say years.  Dad still tends to call me Salazar on a regular basis."

            "Where is your father?" Bethany asked as Sal came in and gave his mother a hug and a kiss.

            Sal shrugged, "I don't know, I just got here."  Sal sat on the edge of the bed next to his mother, and across from Hermione.  "Didn't he bring you here?"

            "Oh, yes." Bethany nodded.  "When I fell asleep last night he was here."  She reached out and touched the bed next to her.

            "I'm sure he's out doing something for you.  He's been going crazy since the request for your removal from Azkaban was approved.  You being gone has driven him mad, you know.  He loves you like nothing else."

            "I'm sorry Sal, it must have been difficult for you."

            "Dad's difficult for everyone.  But he loves me, even if he doesn't know how to say it.  He took good care of me, don't worry." Sal reached over and tucked on of Bethany's stray hairs behind her ear.  "I've missed you mum."  Sal leaned over and hugged her.

            "I love you, Sal." Bethany said hugging him back.

            "He went every year to try and get you released, at Christmas time.  When I was little, before I went to the Academy, he used to bring me."

            Bethany smiled through the tears that were rolling relentlessly down her face.  She looked to Hermione, "You asked what happened Hermione, and though you've heard half of it now, I'd be happy to tell you the whole story."

            "No." Sal said plainly.  "You will rest mum.  I'll tell Hermione before Mrs. Weasley gets up and starts breakfast.  If dad comes back I'll send him up here."

            "When Remus gets up, tell him I'd like to see him too."

            Sal nodded, "Only if you promise me you'll sleep."

            Bethany smiled.

            Sal offered his hand to Hermione.  "Come on, my mum needs her rest and I can tell you what happened to us."

            Hermione bit her lip and looked over at Bethany, who once again gave her an encouraging smile.  Bethany winked and said, "Don't worry Hermione, you'll understand when it passes."

            Sal looked over his shoulder at his mother and said again, as if he couldn't help it, "It's so good to have you home.  I really missed you."  And with that he led Hermione out into the hall.

            As soon as the two got into the hallway Snape's voice cut the air like a knife. "What is the meaning of this?"

            "Father, I apologize, I had to see mum.  Mum requested Hermione's presence.  Forgive us."

            Snape's nostrils flared and he narrowed his eyes at Hermione, who couldn't help but suck in a nervous breath.  She had suspected that Snape was Bethany's husband and Sal's father since Sal came into the room but now that it was confirmed Hermione thought she'd pass out from sheer shock.  This was not, at all, the ending she had suspected.

            Snape nodded but said nothing, instead he swooped past them both and entered the room.  Sal watched the door for a moment.  "He's a mess.  It's awful.  He didn't used to be so bitter, he's mean now.  Knowing my mum she'll change that, at least with us.  He's always been a hard teacher."

            Hermione shook her head, "This is all so hard to grasp.  We never knew Professor Snape had a family."

            "Even when I lived at Hogwarts the students didn't know he had a family.  Do you really know anything about him at all?"

            Hermione shook her head.

            "I'd be mean too if it had been me…what happened to them."  Sal frowned.  "Dad's always been distant, that's his nature and his character, but he's always adored my mum.  Always."

            "Sal, is it your birthday?" Hermione asked.

            Sal nodded with a grin, "Yes.  My mum's not that mad…yet.  I'm eighteen today."

            "Happy birthday," Hermione said sheepishly.

            "Thank you Hermione."  Sal said as they walked the length of the hall.  "Where to start describing this nightmare?"  Sal walked like Snape, Hermione wondered why she hadn't noticed before.  "My mum dated Remus for some time, and it took her awhile time to realize that she loved my dad the whole time.  But she did notice, and they married almost as soon as she graduated.  They had me very soon after.  It drove my father crazy that she remained friends with the Potters, Sirius, and Remus.  But she was very strong headed and very determined.

            "When I was a year old my mum found out my dad was a Death Eater, working for the Dark Lord.  They fought, and she blamed herself.  She said he wouldn't have taken that path if it hadn't been for her friendship with the Potters and such.  She also told him that she wouldn't stand with him while he did the wrong thing and he would have to do it alone.  So, she took me and we went to live down south in a landing she owns called the Terra property.  She inherited it from her parents when they died.

            "We stayed there for some time.  A few years and I became extremely attached to my mum because she was the only family I knew.  We avoided the whole mess with the Dark Lord, until my dad showed up at the Terra one day.  I was too young to understand what was going on, but we moved back here and they reconciled.  Now I understand that he told her he would give up the dark life and if she would come back.  He loved her you see and he couldn't live without us any longer.  She told him yes, because she loved him too, but he had to prove it to her.  That's when he got the job as Potions Master, that was proof enough for her.

            "She liked being back around Hogwarts, and closer to her friends.  I liked it too.  I had people to talk to and everybody enjoyed having us around.  But then Halloween came around that year…and the Potters were attacked.  Sirius Black was blamed.  My mum went nuts.  She was outraged.  She went to the ministry and caused a scene.  She went directly to the minister, she even appealed to the International Wizards conference.  She said Sirius would never do such a thing, she said they were mad to think that he would.  She said she couldn't explain it but it was Peter's doing.  He was the follower, Sirius was the leader and that the Ministry had it backward.

            "She was always in a fluster and dad, more calm now and less angry, would try and calm her.  After her eight attempt the Ministry told her she had to stop or they would charge her.  My mum, you must understand, is a Slytherin at heart she's determined beyond anything else and she would stop at no end to prove her friend's innocence.  She continued and by December, it was my birthday, they sent her a court date.

            "Dad went crazy.  He told her to stop and just plead forgiveness and tell them she'd been cursed.  She told him no, she would present Sirius's case again.  Dad always hated Sirius, but he hated him more now.

            "Well, the court day came around and the Minister told dad that he wasn't allowed in the proceedings.  So, dad and I waited outside.  Well, she was convicted of being in with Sirius and that she was a Death Eater and should be condemned to Azkaban.  She was never a Death Eater, and she was never guilty.  We cried, the only time I've ever seen him cry and he cried for days.  That was when he turned mean.  He was always hard and reserved, but he became really mean…to everyone but me.

            "Hermione, it takes thirteen years for the court to even consider looking over your case again, and even then the often throw them out.  Dad went every year at Christmas to ask that they re-examine her case.  Every year he would take me down there and ask, and every year they would turn him away.  She didn't have a shot in hell to get out not even now.  But," Sal held up a finger.  "Something happened that flipped the coin for us."

            Hermione watched Sal and he smiled.

            "There was a very powerful, very rich man who caused my dad to not be allowed enterance to my mom's case.  Someone who used her to save his own neck, pretended for years to be friends with dad, but didn't want my dad to see or know what was going on.  This year, on my mum's thirteenth year in Azkaban, when they did reopen her case my dad found something he didn't expect.  Lucius Malfoy stood against my mum in her trial.  He pointed the blame on her to save his own skin.  It was his testimony that got her jailed.  And now, with the recent light on his alignment, they thought to really look over her case…and that is how she was released.

            "I remember waiting in the Ministry outsider the door to where she was on trial, clinging to my dad's leg.  Lucius told him, 'Don't worry Severus, she'll be fine'.  And then he went in.  I remember being terrified that I'd never see my mum again, and my fears were right.  The people piled out of the trial and Lucius came over to us.  He patted me on the head and said to dad, 'I'm sorry Severus.  I did all I could'.  All he could all right, Lucius is the reason she was in Azkaban all those years and he was free.  Dad never knew those things, he truly thought the Malfoys had sided with my mum.  He always blamed Sirius, and he still does but I think young Draco Malfoy's life might become a bit more difficult in Potions now."

            Hermione shook her head, "The Malfoys are evil."

            Sal shook his head and shrugged.  "Being angry solves nothing.  It's over and I'm just glad my mum's back.  I have missed her Hermione."

            Hermione nodded.  "I understand."

            "Don't tell everybody our story all right?" Sal asked.  "It's hard enough without having to explain it all again."

            Hermione nodded again.

            "Well, I hear Mrs. Weasley down in the kitchen I'm going to go help her."

            "I'll be down to help you in a minute all right?" Hermione asked.

            Sal nodded.  "She really was innocent Hermione."

            "I know," Hermione said.  "I knew Sirius, and I knew he was innocent."

            Sal smiled.  "Thanks Hermione."

            Hermione nodded and turned on her heels heading back down the hall.  She understood what Beth meant now.  Hermione didn't really want Sal, he was a crush…what she realized was that she loved one of her dearest best friends.  She ran over and knocked on the door to where Harry and Ron were sleeping.

            "Mmmm," Hermione heard Ron's muffled voice and Harry call, "Come in."

            "Hey Harry." Hermione smiled.  "Can you give me a minute with Ron please?"

            "What did I do?" Ron asked.

            Harry got up and nodded.  "Sure Hermione."

            "Don't leave me here with her," Ron said.

            Hermione rolled her eyes but Harry disappeared behind the door.  

            "What now?" Ron sighed.

            "Nothing Ron."  Hermione said crawling up on the bed next to him, she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her head in his chest.  "Nothing at all."

~*END*~  


	13. Alternate, and Original, Ending

_A/N:  All right, this is it.  The original ending to this story…so now I suppose it could be called an alternate ending.  I'd like to hear which one you guys like better.  This one isn't as refined as the other since I decided to go with the other one.  Please review.  And thank you all so much for reading and all the encouraging words I've gotten in reviews!!!  ~Jo_

Hermione knocked on the door of the room that Lupin was staying in at 12 Grimmauld Place.

            He smiled at her from the open doorway.  "Hello Hermione, come on in."

            Hermione did so.

            "What can I do for you?" Lupin asked and then raised a cup to her.  "Tea?"

            "No thank you." Hermione smiled briefly.

            "Have a seat." Lupin offered.

            Hermione sat and adjusted the journal on her lap.  "Professor Lupin, do you remember a girl named Bethany Spence?"

            A vague smile passed over Lupin's face and he questioned, "Bethany Spence?"

            Hermione nodded.

            "Yes I remember Beth.  She was the kind of girl I wish we had met sooner in our Hogwarts years.  She was the kind of girl who would have been great to have in a bind.  She would have made a great Marauder."

"But Lily was part of your group."

            "Lily was James' girlfriend.  Beth was independent of being in our group because she was a 'girlfriend'.  Why do you ask?"

            "I was just wondering if you could tell me what happened to her after her sixth year at Hogwarts."

            Lupin continued to walk around his room doing little things like straightening a picture or moving a pile of parchments.  Hermione waited several moments before Lupin went to his bag.  He pulled out a tiny pouch and handed it to Hermione.  He went back about shuffling things around.  Hermione opened the velvet pouch and dumped three rings into her hand: two wedding bands, one small, one large, and a diamond engagement ring.  She looked back up to Lupin who had paused and was now standing still peering back over at her.  He went back to his bag and returned with a tattered picture.  He handed it to her.  "This Bethany Spence?"

            Hermione looked over the picture of the girl she'd seen in the front of the journal.  Her hair was tied up in a pretty bun with random spears of ringlets bouncing around her shoulders, in a long white gown she had a glass of wine raised and was tapping Lupin's glass.  Lupin was dressed in fancy robes, and behind the two were Lily, James, Sirius, and Peter.

            Hermione set the picture on the desk across from her along with the rings.  "What happened to Bethany?"

            "My wife was killed."  

            Hermione had never seen Lupin so melancholy and go that way so quickly.

            "I'm sorry Professor."  Hermione stood.  "I didn't mean to bring back bad memories."

            "They aren't bad Hermione.  That's why they hurt."

            "She loved you very much."  Hermione said quickly.  She laid the journal on Lupin's desk.  "Here.  I found this in my vanity a few weeks ago.  She kept if for most of her sixth year.  She gave it to Lily for safe keeping, then Lily graduated and she never got it back."

            Lupin touched the leather on the front cover gently.  He scooped it up and pressed it to his chest.  "I miss her."

            Hermione watched him for a few seconds.  She didn't speak, she waited to see if he wanted to tell her anything.

            Lupin chose to talk, he set the journal down but didn't take his eyes off from it.  "She stayed near me all the time at the end of her sixth year.  It felt good having the attention, something I'd never had before.  I think she was afraid that after I left we wouldn't see each other anymore.  Or maybe I would forget her, but she was still very independent.  Not only that but there's no forgetting Beth once you meet her.  She was intoxicating.  I loved her more than anything…I would have died for her.  But so would have Snape."  Lupin took a deep breath.  "She died…" Lupin took another deep breath and shook his head.  "Damn that Slytherin determination.  Regardless of what you think of the Slytherins and how it is true that they produce the most evil wizards there are many good ones.  When they set a goal they won't stop until they attain it, even if it means to their death or (for some) using dark magic.  Her determination betrayed her…to her death."  Lupin took a ragged breath.  "She was the first to make the Wolfsbane potion for me, she was patient and good with Potions despite what she said, and her help from Snape was no loss."  Lupin bit his lip.  "When James and Lily were killed and the blame went to Sirius Beth couldn't believe it, she couldn't live with it.  She appealed to the Ministry for another hearing in Sirius' defense, they denied her.  I didn't even believe her.  She told me to try and see Sirius, but I sighed and told her to let it go…that he betrayed us.  She tried to see him twice before she was killed.  She told me she wouldn't let Sirius rot for something he didn't do.  She stood by Sirius as James' best friend.  She said it was Peter all along.  She said Sirius was too strong to be led, but Peter had been that way since the day she met him…a follower.  I let her try.  She was an Auror, she could handle it.  She killed many Death Eaters, she slayed lots of evil beasts of Voldemort's, she could handle going to Azkaban and asking to see Sirius.  I knew they'd tell her no.  I knew it."  Lupin paused to take another breath.  "She would have done the same for James if it had been Sirius who was killed.  Word must have gotten out that she was after Sirius' release.  As you can understand, Voldemort had just been defeated by Harry so things were still touchy with those who stayed loyal to Voltemort.  They didn't want another person against Voltemort out to help get rid of the few remaining Death Eaters.  So Bellatrix waited for her to leave and cursed her.  The _Avada__ Kedavra curse.  She couldn't beat it, as you know, no one has, except Harry.  Bellatrix was never charged with Beth's death, there was no way to prove it…though she was caught a month later for the Longbottom's.  If I had just believed her, if I had just helped her…she might still be here Hermione."_

            "Professor Lupin." Hermione tried to comfort him.  "The two of you could have asked for nothing more.  You loved each other."

            "I've lost everything in my life." Lupin told Hermione suddenly.  Hermione was surprised at his abrupt outburst, it wasn't like Lupin at all.  "First James and Lily, then Peter, presumably at the hands of Sirius, then Beth, Sirius came back but he died a few years later.  I can't hold a job because of my condition and friends are hard to come by.  But the worst loss, alongside Beth, was my children."

            "You have children?" Hermione asked wide eyed.

            Lupin nodded.  "Remy was born just two weeks before Beth was killed.  He died on his first moon.  He was like me.  But my daughter was lucky, she was not born a werewolf.  Though after Beth's death the Ministry saw me unfit to raise a child and gave her to a Muggle family.  You must understand, I wanted to keep her…more than anything."  
            "You have a daughter that lives with Muggles."

            Lupin nodded.

            "Do you keep in touch with her?"

            "If you mean does she know about me, the answer is no."

            "That's awful."

            "They thought that if she went with Muggles then I'd never see her again, and she'd be safe from my 'dangerous ways'.  The Ministry forgot, though, being too busy with Harry, that she was a pure blood and she would surely be a wizard when she got older."

            "You mean she's a wizard now?"

            "She's a Hogwarts student." Lupin nodded.  "A sixth year."

            "What house?" Hermione asked quickly.

            "Gryffindor."

            "But I'm the only sixth year Muggle born Gyff-" Hermione stopped, unable to speak.

            Lupin glance at her and gave her a weak smile.  He said nothing letting her absorb it all.

            Hermione looked at the journal held tightly in Lupin's arms.  She thought back to some of the things her mother had said.  "_If I could have chosen my house on merit it would have been Ravenclaw, if it had been for the boys it would have been Gryffindor."_

            "I was almost place in Ravenclaw."  Hermione said.  Lupin looked confused.  She eyed him slowly.  "But the hat must have seen the Gryffindor in me, from my father."

            Lupin nodded.  "Diligent study."

            "In our third year, in the Shrieking Shack Snape when Harry said that Snape didn't like you because he thought you were in on the joke…that wasn't the only reason, was it?"

            Lupin shook his head.  "Snape sees himself as a tragic figure that's had everything tugged out from underneath him by one of us.  He feels comfortable blaming us for whatever goes wrong in his life.  And if he can live with seeing the world as such a slanted view than so be it."

            "Be was mad about Beth.  He hated you and James because you both got the girls'."

            "He was perturbed about it.  Then I was offered the job of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.  He didn't like that either."  Lupin seemed surprised that Hermione was taking all of this information so well.

"I promised Dumbledore I wouldn't tell you when I received the job at Hogwarts."

            Hermione went to him and nervously hugged him, he hugged her back.  "I wish I could have stayed."


	14. Alternate, and Original, Ending Extensio...

_A/N:  Okay, okay…I know this story is over and all…but I had to do this.  It's been plaguing me for the past few days, and I thought since I wrote it I'd share it.  I really needed Hermione's reaction to fulfill and complete this story for me; since I did decide to post the alternate ending.  So realize this is an extension of the second (original/alternate) ending.  I was happy I got to do some Draco/Hermione interaction.  Okay this is it on this story though…it's done now.  I hope y'all aren't too mad that I brought it back from the dead in the first place…hehe.  Well, enjoy.  Thanks for reading and please review.  ~Jo _

_ Oh, and by the way, just in case anyone's interested I am working on another MWPP story so if you liked this one, keep your eyes open a second that one in this genre._

Hermione was sitting in the library when Ron and Harry found her.  She hadn't spoken to either of them since before Christmas.  In fact, neither of them had seen her.  She was leaning over a little tattered book.

            "Hermione?" Harry announced he and Ron's presence as he took a seat next to her.

            Hermione peeled her eyes from the pages.

            Ron and Harry both drew back, Hermione's face was gaunt and pale.  Her eyes were red as though she'd been crying, but there was no indication that there had been tears on her face.

            "Hermione?" Ron questioned patiently.

            "I'm sorry," she said slowly.

            "Hermione, what's the matter?" Harry asked.

            "Yeah, we haven't seen you since the first day of the Christmas holiday.  You've been stuck in that book for the past few months.  Are you alright?  It's not cursed or anything, is it?"

            "No."  Hermione shook her head.  "But I wish I'd never found it."  Hermione slammed the book closed and picked it up as if she were going to lob it across the library.

            "Hermione!" Harry grabbed her arm.  "I've never seen you like this."

            Hermione sat the book back down and gathered herself.  "I just want to be alone."

            "No." Ron told her pointedly.  "You've been alone for too long now.  We're your friends, and as your friends it's our responsibility to help you."

            Harry nodded.

            Hermione looked between each of their determined faces before heaving a great sigh.  "Did either of you know that Professor Lupin was married?"

            Ron and Harry exchanged confused glances, and then turning back to Hermione both shook their heads.  "He _was married?" Ron asked._

            Hermione nodded.  She flipped open the book and read…

"My heart stopped, I couldn't breathe, he offered his hand to me and I couldn't move to take it.  Though I'd seen Remus before, and even had him address me on occasion it was like I'd never seen him until that moment."

            She flipped a few pages forward and went on…

"I can't help it.  He is my waking dream moment, my closing thought, and my obsession.  Sissy would call me crazy, Bell would sneer, but Lily would say it is love."

            Hermione sighed, "She was friends with your mom and dad Harry."

            "Professor Lupin's wife wrote that about him?"  Ron asked.  

            "Yes," Hermione said.  "In her sixth year at Hogwarts.  She was a Slytherin."

            Ron and Harry both gasped despite themselves.

            Hermione shook her head, "She was friends with Sirius too.  'If I could have chosen my house on merit it would have been Ravenclaw, if it had been for the boys it would have been Gryffindor.'"

            "What?" Ron asked.

            This time a few tears did escape her eyes and she frowned at her friends.

            "Hermione you have to tell us what this means.  Have you talked to Professor Lupin about this?"  Harry asked.

            Hermione nodded and sobbed a little harder.  "He misses her."  Finally she dropped her head into her hands and let the tears come. 

            Harry patted Hermione's shoulder and Ron reached over putting an arm around her.  Hermione smiled weakly up to them and reached over flipping to the back page. 

            "I love him like I thought I would from the moment I realized there was something there.  Despite all we've been through my love remains strong, and like James finally asked Lily to marry him, Remus asked me.  Its silly being in school and even considering it, but it's going to happen."

            "What happened to her?" Ron asked.

            "You sure she was a Slytherin?" Harry asked.

            Hermione flipped to the front of the book and handed it to Harry.  "Your mom kept it for her so Narcissa Malfoy wouldn't find it."  

            As Harry looked at the picture of the girl with the name Bethany Spence written under it Hermione dug through her bag and came out with a picture.  She sighed and touched the people in it.  Hermione handed it to Ron first.

            Ron looked at the picture.  He recognized James Potter right away, holding about a one year old baby in blue.  Next he looked over to the woman tucked under James's arm, which he deducted was Lily Potter.  Aside Lily was a youthful looking Professor Lupin.  There was no premature aging in his young face and he was smiling and happy.  Professor Lupin was holding a baby too, also somewhere near a year old.  The child Professor Lupin was holding was a girl, dressed in pink.  Aside him was a pretty little lady leaning her head on Professor Lupin's shoulder holding a newborn wearing blue.

            "Is this Professor Lupin's family?" Ron asked pointing to the three surrounding him.

            Harry got up and went around to look at the picture over Ron's shoulder.  "Is that me?"

            Hermione nodded, "Just a few weeks before your parents died."

            "Professor Lupin has a family?" Harry echoed Ron.

            Hermione leaned around and pointed, "That's me, and this is my brother Remy."  Hermione's voice cracked when she said Remy's name.

            The picture drifted to the floor as Ron and Harry stared open mouthed and wide eyed at Hermione.  Their expressions did nothing but bring more tears.

            It took Harry a few minutes to gather his thoughts, "I'm sorry Hermione."

            "What happened to your mum?" Ron asked.

            "Bellatrix Lestrange murdered her.  That's why I was sent to live with Muggles, the Ministry thought Professor Lupin was unfit to raise children because of his condition."

            "What about Remy?" Harry asked.

            "He…he…" Hermione paused, taking a moment to gather herself.  "He was like my father, and died when the first lunar cycle came around.  Why couldn't I have known?  Why couldn't I have stayed?  Why did they have to torture Professor Lupin worse than he already had been when his wife died?"  Hermione shook her head anger welling in her chest, "I'll tell you why, because she was fighting for Sirius to be released!  She was right about Peter!  She was smart, and they were punishing him for her actions!  He didn't deserver that.  The Ministry is corrupt, it's always been corrupt!"

            "Oh, what's the little Mudblood complaining about?" The drawling voice of Draco Malfoy interrupted the conversation.  Hermione was on her feet with her wand drawn before anyone could blink.

            "I find your attitude to be a bit discerning Malfoy." Hermione narrowed her eyes.

            "What are you going to do?  Curse me?"  Draco smiled maliciously.

            "I'm seriously considering it."

            "Oh." Malfoy puckered out his bottom lip, "I'm not concerned you filthy Mudblood."

            Hermione ground her teeth together, "Your insults to me are of little concern to my patience.  But I take your slur as an attack on my parents.  I'm no more Mudblood than you are!"

            "Right." Draco sneered with a snicker.

            Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Next time you get to visit your home, since your father won't be there to discuss it with you, ask your mother which of her friends betrayed her, turned on Voldemort, and married an enemy…at least that's how your mum will see it.  Then ask about her family."

            Draco stared at Hermione who had withdrawn her wand and was turning back to her friends.  He blinked, hiding his slight concern that Hermione wasn't really a Mudblood.  Draco decided against saying anymore and tried to make a quiet exit.

            Ron and Harry followed Hermione's lead in ignoring Draco.

            "So," Hermione told Harry, "the tally of victims Voldemort has taken is getting bigger."

            "Hermione." Harry reached out and took her shoulder.  "I know it won't mean much now, but maybe later when you need strength know that I understand what you're feeling.  He ruined my family too."

            Hermione smiled weakly.  "Thanks Harry."

            Ron shot Hermione a lopsided grin, "We're here for you Hermione."

            Hermione returned Ron's grin.  "Thanks Ron."


	15. Hogwarts: A Cultural History Volume 2

_Some of you have already read this, but as requested early on, I have decided to extend this story (a sequel if you will). I have decided to attach it to the original story now though, sorry to those of you who have already read this chapter; I hope others will join and enjoy this._

_A/N: Wow, I never thought this would happen; I never foresaw this, but here it is. I decided it was unfair of me to leave the original version of this where it was…as far as the happenings in __Bethany__'s journal. I realized there is a huge gap from where the Quidditch game is won (thanks to James Potter) and the end of the story; it's disjointed and abrupt. I guess inspiration struck and I wanted to end the story, at that time…but it wasn't ready to be done as far as the events of the Marauders final year at Hogwarts. With that said, I've decided to give this story more time and more events. If you were interested in the first part of this story, you'll probably like the second part as it picks up directly were the other left off. I can adapt to y'all's likes though, if you liked Hermione being a third party narrator she could easily be in this story, if ya didn't she doesn't have to be (my fiancé prefers it without so I'll stick without for now, until I hear otherwise). You'll find the format is the same. I hope y'all like this. Please let me know what you think, and if you're new to this story you probably can read it independently of the other one but I don't recommend it – besides you'll probably like this story's predecessor if you remotely enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think! :::Jo:::_

****

**Hogwarts: A Culutral History  
Volume 2**

The group made it to the bottom of the bleachers after fighting half of Hogwarts. Lily had insisted that the best seats were at the top.

"Wait here," Lilly told Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Bethany. "I'll get him."

Sirius was looking around, bored. "I knew it," he yawned. "There was no question about it, we have the best Quidditch team Hogwarts has ever seen."

Remus nodded.

Bethany smiled, "I'm glad you're so sure Sirius, just wait you haven't played Slytherin yet."

"You're not on the team, so I'm not worried." Sirius rubbed his head. "That one time you smacked me with a Bludger is plenty for me to know to stay clear of you when you're on the Pitch."

Bethany raised an eyebrow, "You're going to admit that in public Sirius. I'm surprised."

Sirius shrugged it off by saying, "I know that no one can hear anything in this mess."

Just then several Slytherin girls, Bethany's year mates, paused at seeing her with the Gryffindor boys. Bethany watched them stop. At first they looked surprised, almost disbelieving; then the one of the girls turned to the rest and whispered something that turned into giggling. Bethany heaved a great sigh, closed her eyes and hung her head.

Remus placed a hand on her shoulder.

**_I know I'm not going to be able to live that down anytime soon, and to be honest I'm not totally sure that I don't care about it. But thank goodness for Remus, he knew what I was feeling; I don't know how he does it, but he can read me like a book. He squeezed my shoulder and somehow that was comfort. But it only lasted a moment._**

"What are you doing?" Narcissa's voice cut the air like a knife, she nearly shrieked.

"Sissy," Bethany's eyes sprung open and her head popped up. She went rigid and pale, standing in front of her were Narcissa and Bellatrix.

"Where's Severus?" Bellatrix questioned innocently, as if her eyes were deceiving her.

"You know I don't like that slim ball," Narcissa stepped closer to Bethany, "but he is far more acceptable than this friend of Sirius, and Sirius for that matter," Narcissa's eyes pieced Remus then fluttered to Sirius. "Come on Bethany," Narcissa snatched up Bethany's wrist and jerked her away from Remus. Narcissa started to stalk away, dragging Bethany behind her. She paused and turned to Remus, "I hope you rot!"

**_She wants me near her because Lucius likes me. I'm a nice addition to her little squad in Lucius's eyes. She's just like that; a haughty pureblood. It wasn't about me (it might have been about Sirius and Remus being Sirius's friend, but it definitely wasn't about me. I lost that privilege when I was caught in public with Sev). As long as I could serve as her good little puppet I would make her look good for that arrogant, self-centered Malfoy; as I had a Madam Puddifoot's._**

It took Bethany several seconds of being led along to come around to what was happening.

"Sissy," Bethany twisted her wrist to in an attempt to get free, but Narcissa had dug her nails into Bethany's arm harder the more she tried to escape. Narcissa pushed Bellatrix along faster, in the direction of the exit.

"Go," Narcissa growled.

"Bethany wasn't hanging out with them of her own volition, right Sis?" Bellatrix asked horrified, still not believing that Bethany _wanted_ to be friends with Gryffindors.

"Of course not," Narcissa grumbled.

"Sissy let me go," Bethany protested, "you're hurting me."

Narcissa instantly released Bethany, who, in turn, tumbled backward landing on her but.

Instantly Remus and Sirius were hefting Bethany to her feet. "But out Narcissa," Sirius warned aggressively.

Narcissa's pretty face was turned red with disgust, and her mouth began to move but nothing came out for her anger.

"Beth?" Bellatrix stepped toward her, almost pleadingly.

"Back off," Remus said softly. Both Sirius and Beth looked to Remus and Sirius almost laughed, he might have if it hadn't been for the situation at hand. He'd never seen Remus speak so pointedly at anyone and really mean it.

"You want to stay with them over us?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yes Bell," Bethany nodded.

"Have it your way!" Narcissa shouted, "But know that this means war," Narcissa pointed a finger shaking with anger at Sirius. Abruptly she turned on her heels and commanded, "Come on Bell."

"I already thought it was war," Sirius called after Narcissa.

Bethany gently pulled away from Sirius and Remus. "Thanks."

Sirius waved a hand, "It's nothing we wouldn't have done besides."

"I meant for helping me up," Bethany jabbed Sirius in the side.

"Beth," Remus grabbed her hand and pulled her a few feet away from Sirius who pretended not to notice, he went casually back to looking for James in the crowd.

"What's the matter?" Bethany asked looking up to Remus.

**_He didn't even know he was doing it. I thought I was going to die right there, he was perfect and he was holding my hands. He pressed my hands to his chest, and that's when I noticed the four perfect little half moon shaped red marks on my arm. Narcissa had done a number, I was bleeding in those fingernail gouges. It didn't matter though, Remus was touching me…affectionately._**

"Nothing," Remus said honestly. "I just wanted to make sure you were going to be alright, really be alright." He reached up and brushed a stray hair out of Bethany's face.

**_He was trembling, it was fantastic; gentle and caring. I could barely feel him tuck that little hair behind my ear. Then it happened, again, I thought surely I was going to die, right there, only this time for the worse…far worse._**

"You disgust me, both of you."

Bethany didn't even need to turn, she knew that voice despite the nasty snarl it had taken on…it was Severus.


	16. Chapter 2: Disagreements

_Again this was all started in a new story, but I thought it would be best to just continue from the other story. The next chapter will be a new one to those who have already read these two parts._

_A/N: I'm flattered at y'all's response to this. As such I have to do the honors of thanking my co-worker but more importantly my friend Miss labyrinth1119, she is partly to blame for this sequel that many people wanted at the end of the last version; she's been an inspiration if you will, because no one has ever been so eager to talk about character development and story lines and anything Harry Potter related as she. Please let me plug her writing here as well (trust me when I say this chick'a can write a mean story, read her stuff). And I have to say cornflake – er – oh nevermind.... I also must thank all my reviewers as well, for you are also my inspiration. One more little note, I took into consideration the request that Hermione revisit her role as third person narrator; well I've decided to accept a third person narrator but I wanted to give another character a shot at it…a person that the journal switched hands at the end of the last story. With that said, I have to say this story flies from the end of the alternate ending (I hope that doesn't disappoint anyone). Anyhow, thanks for reading and please review. :-) :::Jo:::_

**Chapter 2: Disagreements**

Bethany pulled her hands out from Remus's and she turned but all she caught was the back of Severus's robes.

**_It's amazing how fast things change, I can't even begin to explain what I was feeling._**

"Well," Remus raised his chin to Bethany when she turned back to him, "I'm not entirely sure how I should take that. You spout the ideas that one friendship doesn't affect the other, but then you don't live it out."

"I fought off Narcissa, didn't I?" Bethany said plainly.

Remus raised a questioning eyebrow, and that brief facial gesture said all he meant.

"Remus," Bethany caught him by the arm as he turned to go.

"Bethany," Remus shook his head. He paused as if pondering where to begin, if at all.

Bethany didn't give him a chance, "You haven't been the most honest individual with me Remus, don't put yourself in a compromising position you might regret." Her conviction was that of a threat.

"I have my reasons Bethany, I dare say they are more cause worthy than your fear of offending Severus."

"Fear?" Bethany cocked her head offensively. "Clearly I've already offended him."

"Something you think you can remedy?" Remus asked.

"Are you saying I'm staying here because I think I can patch this friendship and I can't repair my relationship with Sev?"

Again, Remus raised an eyebrow.

"You surprise me Remus, if I weren't distracted I'd nearly say I think you're jealous." Bethany frowned.

At this Remus did take a step back. He eyed her cautiously, "Maybe I am."

Now Bethany looked confused.

"You hold your relationship with Severus in such high regard you're willing to anger Sirius and James over it, like that little display in the library on Monday; yet you won't admit to him that you are friends with me. Yes," Remus nodded, "I would definitely say I'm envious."

"I'm fine," Bethany said.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Your original intention was to know if I was well…really well." Bethany brushed her forearm, "besides a few cuts I think I'm alright."

"Bethany," Remus wasn't going to let up, "you even went to Hogsmeade with him."

Bethany's brow furrowed and her cheeks flushed, "Yes I did! And you know why I went to Hogsmeade with _him_, yes because he's my friend, but despite that, because you told me you weren't going!" Bethany paused and now confusion developed over Remus's face. "Yes Remus, you! Not Sirius, not James, certainly not Peter and definitely not Severus…YOU! I wanted to go with you, no one else. You can imagine my feeling when I found out you were there despite what you'd told me since I wanted nothing more than for us to go to Madam Puddifoot's, to walk up and down the streets, to shop, and just to be together. And contrary to what you've developed in your mind about my response to you, I wouldn't have cared what all of Hogwarts or that cocky Lucius Malfoy and his crowd would have to say about us drinking tea and chatting over cookies." Bethany turned and did her best mingle into the crowd.

"Wow," Sirius stepped next to Remus who was staring absently at where Bethany went. "Good show," Sirius clapped. "Brilliant performance, I especially liked the part where you just stood there." Sirius looked at Remus sternly, "Why are you still here?"

"I can't go after her now," Remus argued nervously.

Sirius rolled his eyes annoyed, "Fine you stand here like a dumb git, I'll go after her. Just know mate you've probably messed it all up."

"You knew she wanted…wanted…to go with me?" Remus said.

"Oh yeah," Sirius nodded as if it were common knowledge. "She's had it bad for you for a long while."

**_I don't know why he said that, or if he even really knew that was the case; nevertheless Sirius never fails to amaze me. He wasn't going to find me, no one was, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to watch Remus for a little while longer. I waited for Sirius to head off looking for me, and then for Remus to turn back to where Lily had went, and then for the Quidditch Pitch to empty out. I couldn't go back to my house, I'd be the talk of the common room; something I've never had to worry about in the past and really didn't want to have to start worrying about now. It was dark by the time I snuck out from under the bleachers._**

The grass was soft when Bethany laid flat on the Pitch, looking skyward at the clusters of stars. The night was crisp and clear, she admired the moon; it was waning, nearly to half.

"Nice night."

Bethany nearly leapt from her skin at hearing a pleasant voice she wasn't expecting. She bolted up and twisted to see Professor Dumbledore standing behind her. "Oh Professor, I didn't hear you."

"I like looking at the stars. Quite a match, wasn't it." His eyes danced on the starlight.

"Yes," Bethany nodded, "quite a match all right."

"Why aren't you celebrating with your friends? I thought you were close with James Potter."

"I…I…" Bethany flopped back onto the grass, "I don't know."

"Still confused Miss Spence?"

"Always, does it ever go away Professor?"

"Certainly not," Dumbledore chuckled.

"Professor?"

"Yes."

"Am I going to be in trouble for being on the grounds after dark?" Bethany sat up again and cranked her neck around to look at Dumbledore.

The old man smiled, "Well you, nor Severus Snape, got in any kind of trouble last Friday when you were out on the grounds after hours."

Bethany stuttered, but chose to giggle in response; and she wondered stupidly how she could have ever thought anything would pass by Professor Dumbledore unnoticed; especially something that landed a student in the hospital wing with a really nasty looking dog bite.

"Go back up to the school now Bethany," Dumbledore told her gently. "Celebrate."

Bethany climbed to her feet and dusted off her robes. "Thanks Professor. Good night."

"Oh and Bethany-"

She paused and turned back to Dumbledore.

"It's very dangerous to be on the grounds at night alone, these are dark times…I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

Bethany nodded and with that she left.

**_I was thankful for Dumbledore, he always seemed to know how to be in the right place at the right time. I love his way of telling you not to do something without saying don't do it; he has a gift of manipulating his students into doing what he wants without 'telling' us. I just wish he had given me some advice on how to deal with my house mates. My house mates and their ridicule was going to be the last of my worries when dawn came._**

Remus turned the page slowly. He knew what was coming next and he knew it wasn't going to be pretty. He never realized how much Bethany had to say about everything when they were students at Hogwarts, nor did he ever understand exactly how much he really meant to her. Her words sounded the same, her tone was the woman he remembered and loved. Everyone was conflicted as an adolescent and his wife was no exception to that rule.


	17. Chapter 3: A Possible Flight from Hogwar...

**Chapter 3: A Possible Flight from Hogwarts **

Remus had had the journal for months and wasn't able to open it until the end of summer. Hermione had turned up at the meeting place for the Order a few days prior, with the anticipation of a new school year to begin and he couldn't bare it any longer; he had to see, think, and feel what Bethany was writing…he had to be with her again, in all the ways he remembered her.

He could feel her in the words she wrote, he could almost hear her voice. He missed her and he had forgotten just how much.

"Remus."

Lupin turned to the door, Molly Weasley was there. "Please, come in." he said.

Molly stepped into his room, "I just came to tell you lunch was ready. The children have gone off to Diagon Alley with Arthur to collect their school books." Molly looked at Remus, he looked worse than she had seen him recently. Apprehensively she sat along side him, she tried not to talk to Remus…she wanted to, but she knew better than to do such; for she might say something she shouldn't…not yet. "What's wrong Remus?"

"I miss her Molly." Lupin said softly.

Molly nodded, "I know."

"I've never really said it before," he shrugged, but Molly could see that it was racking him.

"We could really use her now." Molly nodded. "We need people like Beth in these dark times."

"I've always needed her," Lupin said mildly.

"Remus, come to lunch."

"I'll be there," he said, "in a moment."

Molly nodded and got to her feet. Being around Remus was like tiptoeing through a sleeping pack of wolves ever since Sirius's death, he just hadn't been quite the same and no one wanted to cross him for fear that he might explode. Lupin on the other hand hadn't noticed that he was being avoided, he had far too many things to do and worry about. The Order was his primary concern.

Molly closed Remus's door and nearly toppled over Snape. She gave a little shriek, "Severus, don't sneak up on me like that."

"You didn't tell him did you?"

"No," Molly shook her head, "of course not."

"Good," Snape said. He raised a glass to Molly, "Excuse me, Lupin will require this."

Molly nodded.

Remus was listening, he wondered if they thought he couldn't hear them, and for the first time since Sirius's death he realized that, perhaps, no one had really talked to him. Instantly realizing Snape would be knocking on the door any moment to administer the Wolfsbane potion, Remus quickly shuffled the journal into a pile of papers and went to the door. He opened it just as Severus was raising his hand to wrap on the door.

Lupin smiled and reached out for the potion, "Thank you Severus." And before Snape could respond Lupin closed the door. He fished the journal out from the stack of papers.

He fanned the pages to where he'd been and a brittle letter fell into his lap. Carefully he unfolded the parchment.

**_Bethany_****_,_**

****

**_Prepare your things, your father and I need you._**

****

**_All my love,_**

**_Mum_**

Remus ran his finger over the word on the page, he never met them and he was thankful for that. Remus remembered that day well…

**_Saturday October 16, 1976_****__**

Bethany was sitting at the end of the Slytherin table.

"Hey Beth, I think you're at the wrong table," a heavy girl told her; the girls around her giggled.

"Yeah, I think those goodies are waiting for you." One of the bunch snickered and pointed across the Grand Hall, even Severus swept by her without a passing glance.

Bethany merely turned away from them.

"You have another chance," Narcissa appeared at Bethany's side.

**_I must be important, or my presence must be; Narcissa wouldn't be there otherwise. She wasn't one to forgive or forget._**

"Don't waste your breath," Bethany said casually as she picked at her food. "I don't think I'm going to be in Hogwarts much longer."

Bellatrix's jaw dropped and Narcissa puffed up her chest, and she cast two judging eyes on Bethany.

"I see," Narcissa smiled bitterly. "Embarrass yourself then you run."

"Don't be ridiculous." Bethany glowered at her.

"Then what?" Bellatrix asked.

"My parents are calling me away from Hogwarts; they're running." Bethany looked back at her food.

"What do you mean?" Narcissa frowned.

"I don't think I stuttered Sissy," Bethany stood and looked Narcissa head on. "My parents are running and they felt guilty about abandoning me."

"What are they running from?" Narcissa asked.

Bethany raised an eyebrow at Narcissa behind bored eyes.

"Can't you stay?" Bellatrix questioned.

"I'd love to," Bethany nodded. "I don't think they even considered me."

"You're leaving?" Severus appeared from what seemed like no where, he hovered over Narcissa.

"Yes," Bethany nodded emotionlessly.

Narcissa gave him a hard shove away from her and turned a sneer on him, "Butt out, she's our friend and wants nothing to do with you."

**_I didn't think to defend him, in fact I didn't care at that moment. I didn't care what Sissy said, how _****_Bell_****_ acted, or what Sev thought…all I cared about was becoming disjointed from my parents and their planned flight from _****_England_****_. I bet they went to the Ministry and told them some of _his _plans, and the Ministry told them (to save their lives) to run to _****_America_****_ or something. I don't want to go._**

"I'm leaving," Bethany looked between all of them and pushed to get passed them. She didn't even get to take a step before the Grand Hall's doors opened and Dumbledore appeared with Barty Crouch and several Aurors. Every student stopped and watched the precessions glide down the tables.

Dumbledore paused in front of Bethany.

"May I see you for a moment Miss. Spence?" Dumbledore asked.

Bethany was fighting chills and doing her best to keep from shaking, she nodded. "Of course," she said stagnantly.

**_They all watched us leave, all of them. It took all I had to keep my knees from buckling, but I managed, with my head high. I saw Narcissa give me a look of encouragement from the end of the table, I don't think I've ever seen such a thing in my whole life but clearly she had._**

Dumbledore stopped just in the hallway, he peered over to Crouch, "A moment please."

"I will not leave you alone with her." Crouch barked.

Dumbledore looked at Crouch over his half moon spectacles and frowned.

"Just a moment then," Crouch grumbled.

Once they'd all cleared out Dumbledore turned to Bethany, but before he could speak she did, "The end is coming isn't it?"

Then Dumbledore did something she didn't expect, he smiled. "Bethany you never fail to impress me." Then his expression went solemn again. "I refused to turn you over to them, and I will not allow you to go to the Council of Magical Law. However, I cannot stop them should you hide anything from me."

"I'm hiding nothing." Bethany said.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

Bethany eyed the ground, and after several long seconds of this on going silence match Bethany broke. "Fine."

**_I don't know why I didn't want to tell him. Dumbledore meant more to me than they ever had._**

Bethany reached in her robes and pulled out the letter she received from her parents. She extended it to him.

Dumbledore didn't even open it, "You would not have gone."

Bethany looked up to him, she chose not to question how he knew that she was planning a way to escape their plan of flight.

"I will hold onto this, until they are done questioning you."

"Questioning?" Bethany squeaked.

"Crouch is allowed to question you, but they will not take you from these grounds. My only word of advice is to stay strong, do not yield to their terrors."

"Terrors?" Bethany asked.

Dumbledore opened his mouth to answer but he paused and looked passed Bethany. She peeked over her shoulder, Crouch was waiting. One of the Aurors came forward and took Bethany by the arm and led her roughly back though the Grand Hall and out through the front doors.

_Thank you for reading, please review! :::Jo:::_


	18. Chapter 4: The Dementor and the Interrog...

**Chapter 4: The Dementor and the Interrogation**

Once outside Bethany saw the terrors that Dumbledore meant, floating in the corner of the courtyard was a black clad dementor. The sky was gray and the grounds were still covered in early morning fog. Lighting struck in the distance and it made Bethany give a little jump. She looked around as if gallows had been constructed somewhere in the courtyard and were just waiting for her.

The Auror that was pulling her along gave her a shove and she fell skidding to a halt on her hands and knees.

"Alastor," Crouch used a warning tone on the Auror.

Alastor mumbled something under his breath but Bethany didn't catch it.

Crouch went to try and help Bethany up but she was already on her feet and backing away from him, she felt the dementor draw a bit closer as if she were going to escape.

"What do you know?" Crouch asked.

Thunder clapped and Bethany gave a little jump, she looked over her shoulder at the dementor who was making her very cold. "Nothing," she said boldly.

"You're lying!" Alastor drew his wand and pointed it at her.

"I'm not," Bethany said, "I know nothing."

"You're protecting your master! Now speak!" Alastor demanded.

"You've got the wrong person," Bethany puffed up her chest defiantly.

"You're parents sudden disappearance doesn't look good for you Bethany, it's rumored that they've been spotted in Australia." Crouch said, also advancing on her.

Bethany felt the blood drain from her face.

"Ah, you see," Alastor shook his pointed wand at her, "she knows."

"I know nothing," Bethany said again. "Not even that my family had gone and left me here."

"Nor why they suddenly left everything to you, including the Terra province?" Crouch asked.

Bethany thought she was going to swoon, she was getting weaker and weaker with each new revelation; the dementor wasn't helping either. She knew why they'd done that, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. They had turned the property and wealth over to her so You-Know-Who would come after her instead of them…she would be their only link to her traitor or run-away parents (whichever it happened to be, and she was thinking more along this lines of run-away because of this interrogation). She had instantly been turned into a sacrifice, a scapegoat.

"No," Bethany's shoulders hung.

"She's lying again!" Alastor screamed. "Tell no lies woman!"

The dementor edged a bit closer. Bethany thought icicles would form on the end of her finger should he come any closer. Her eyes drifted up to the castle behind Crouch and the other Aurors. In the Great Hall she could see all the students gathered around the huge windows watching. She saw Severus, he looked fearful, like they might destroy her right there. Her eye caught James, he had no expression, but Sirius (who was standing next to him) looked violently angry that they had taken her, she could see he was screaming something. Narcissa and Bellatrix were at the front with smug smiles. Remus was frowning, at the moment, it was an expression she couldn't read. But then her eye caught Lily Evans. Lily had one hand pressed to the window and the other was clutching the front of her robes near her heart, she was crying. Bethany felt her knees get weak, the dementor was even closer now.

Without warning she snatched her wand from her robes and turned on it, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

White wisps shot from her wand and two Aurors lashed out and seized her, Bethany stared awkwardly at her patronus, standing before her, heading off the dementor. She jerked free from the Aurors to keep her patronus active, she shouted over her shoulder, "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS FIND MY PARENTS, THEY ARE THE ONES YOU WANT. I'VE DONE NOTHING! I WOULD NEVER FOLLOW YOU-KNOW-WHO! NEVER! NOW CALL OFF YOUR GUARD!"

"Do as she said," Crouch instructed.

Two Auror stepped up and took over where Bethany's patronus was quickly disappearing. Crouch looked to Alastor, "Administer it."

"Administer what?" Bethany looked between the two of them.

"It won't hurt," Alastor said. "Don't fight it."

Another two Aurors took Bethany's arms, she watched as Alastor advanced on her. She began to struggled, "What? Administer what?"

"Truth Potion," Alastor raised a vile to her.

"What?" Bethany tried to pull back but they were holding her too tightly. "You can't do this."

"Unless you have something to hide you shouldn't worry," Alastor said.

"That's not the point!" Bethany shrieked. The bottle, Bethany could now see clearly, read Veritaserum.

**_Violated! That's how I feel about it, violated. They questioned me for twenty minutes once they 'Administered it', and I told them the same thing I had previously; nothing. I can't believe they left me here. That surprised me, when I said that, because I thought I could believe it; apparently it hurt more than I was ready for…mum and dad leaving me I mean. How in the world am I going to care for all their estate? More importantly how am I going to steer clear of Who-Know-Who now that I own the estate. I'm more afraid of my patronus than the estate, actually._**

"Remus?" Molly came to the door again.

Remus looked up.

"You said you'd be down in a few minutes, lunch is over." Molly went to him, she handed him a plate with a sandwich on it. "So I brought this up for you."

"Thank you," Remus smiled accepting the plate.

"You're welcome."

"Her parents must have taught her the patronus, they knew she could be in danger. They must have been horrible people. I had never seen one until that day," Remus said.

"I suspect they were horrible Remus."

"You know the day I actually knew what I meant to her?" Remus asked.

Molly sat down beside him again.

"The day Mad-Eye, before he had the mad eye, came to Hogwarts with Crouch to question Beth."

"Why?" Molly asked.

"Because of her patronus. It scared her, but like Harry her patronus took on a form she had not intended; one that was at the heart of her happy memory. Harry's had been a stag, like James Animagus form; though Harry didn't know, at the time, that his father was an Animagus."

"What was Bethany's?"

"A werewolf."

Molly patted Remus's shoulder, "She adored you Remus, more than you can ever know." Molly pointed at the sandwich, "Now eat."

Remus chomped down into his sandwich, thankful that he had friends.

It began to rain, lightly, as they Aurors and Crouch questioned Bethany on behalf of the Council of Magical Law. The rain began to come harder. Each question weighed heavier and heavier on Bethany as she answered the same as if she hadn't been under the Veritaserum.

"Only one more question then Miss. Spence," Alastor eyed her. "Would you ever even consider allying yourself with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

Bethany's breath's had become ragged and she glanced up at Alastor Moody, she shook her head, "Never."

"You're free," Crouch frowned.

Bethany dropped to her knees as the Aurors and Mr. Barty Crouch began heading down the long path that led out of Hogwarts.

"Oh," Crouch stopped and turned back. "One more thing."

Bethany twisted around to look at him and she asked before he made it back to her, "Can I stay at Hogwarts?"

Crouch nodded as he approached, "Certainly." He reached in his robes and pulled out a scroll. He handed it to her, "It's all yours now."

Bethany took the scroll, and with that Crouch left.

**_It was the transfer of property from them to me, my horrible parents and their ploy to have me killed in their place. He never even said he was sorry, Crouch I mean…none of them had. With the property in my hand I had to do the worst thing of all, face my fellow students._**

_Again, thanks for reading...please review if you have a moment! :::Jo:::_


	19. Chapter 5: The Recovery

**Chapter 5: The Recovery**

As soon as the door opened all the students tumbled over one another to get to their seats, as if they hadn't been at the window the whole time (many of which knew Bethany saw them). She stood, dripping on the floor, watching them all scurry around one another.

Bethany couldn't stand it any longer, she shook her head and walked around the outside of the tables to the doors opposite the entrance. As soon as she got into the adjacent corridor, she could still hear the chattering and bustling in the Grand Hall, she heard the doors swing open again. She didn't turn around, she just kept walking. It was the voices that caused her to stop.

"Move it," Sirius growled.

"I was here first Black," Severus shot back.

"She obviously doesn't want you," Sirius shouted.

"Because everything is obvious to you," Severus hissed.

"Didn't you see it Severus?" James's voice cut the air. "The patronus, she wants us."

"SHUT UP!" Bethany swung on them all. "I don't want any of you at the moment, I want to be alone."

Lily broke through the group and stumbled in front of Bethany. Bethany reached out and caught Lily keeping her from falling. Her eyes were still red from tears, "Beth, I never thought they'd do that to you; not at school. It was horrible. Are you all right?"

"Yes," Bethany nodded. "I will be."

"I'm sorry," Lily frowned and Bethany could see the tears welling up in her eyes again as if her mind were replaying the Auror tossing her to the ground and the dementor. "They aren't being fair right now, things are so bad."

"Lily, it's okay. It's not your fault, it was my parent's fault; I blame them entirely…I don't even blame Crouch or his Aurors, I would have wanted them to do no less with the information they had." Bethany whispered so that only Lily could hear. "I'm all right." She said a bit louder. "I promise."

"Bethany," Remus finally spoke up from the back as he waited patiently for the others to get done fighting through the door. "May I speak with you for a moment?"

Bethany looked up to him, she wiped the rain from her face and said plainly, "No."

"Will you at least take a moment for myself?"

Everyone's eyes flicked up behind Bethany, where Dumbledore was standing.

"Of course headmaster," Bethany said.

"The rest of you may go back to breakfast," Dumbledore said dryly.

Lily waited only a moment to give Bethany a hug for support, but Bethany was certain that she was the one providing the support. Bethany often had difficulty understanding what Dumbledore was thinking, but his expression was clear at the moment. He could tell Lily was truly damaged by what she witnessed and he was wondering how many other students were feeling the same thing. Dumbledore knew, that Crouch had made an example from Bethany and it had probably worked on many of the students; it was just convenient that she might actually be a Death Eater.

"Come to my office," he bowed his head.

Bethany nodded and followed along behind him. "Am I in trouble sir?"

"I should say not," Dumbledore looked appalled by the very suggestion.

"My parents have gone without me," Bethany said bitterly. "They let me their things, all of their things…but Professor I am just a minor I have no where to go this summer." At this Bethany's voice broke and she had to stifle a sob.

"Don't be unhappy Bethany, you were very brave out there; I'm sorry I had to let them do that to you. I never would have permitted a dementor on the grounds, had I known Crouch brought one." Dumbledore paused at a large stone statue. "Peppermint," he said and the statue moved aside to reveal a spiral staircase. Silently the pair climbed the stairs. Bethany didn't really remember the trek to the top, she didn't remember sitting, or even Dumbledore handing her a cup of tea and wrapping her in a warm cloak as he mentioned something about her shivering.

"You were very brave out there," he told her.

"Thank you," she said placidly. "I think."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Bethany, your courage I mean. You faced that dementor very well, though I must question the nature of your patronus."

"Nature?" Bethany raised an eyebrow, "I can't explain it. I don't really know what it was."

"Clearly you did."

"Yes, but I don't know why it was what it was." Bethany looked confused. She lowered her voice, for now her adrenaline had slowed and she could feel the fear and tears that were beginning to overcome her, "It was scary Professor. I don't know what I'm going to do for the summer."

"Don't worry Bethany, you will have somewhere to go; I promise you that. I also have to apologize for Crouch's behavior and his Aurors. Alastor should not have treated you that way, you must understand his skepticism of-"

"I do not question them, nor do I blame them, they were only doing what they should have." Bethany said slowly, tears now escaping her. "It's not their fault that society is jaded by a very dark wizard who threatens our very existence. Should I have actually been what they were seeking no injustice would have been done. But it doesn't make it any less terrifying."

For the first time in all her years at Hogwarts Dumbledore looked dumbfounded, dumbfounded and amazed. It passed quickly as he nodded, "You have been wronged and yet you understand their method, a gift many do not have. Bethany your fairness and understanding will be your undoing."

She heaved a great breath and wiped tears from her face. "I was trying to be strong for Lily, I couldn't let her see me cry after that or I might have destroyed her. She is not weak, and I don't know that I could have stood in her shoes and saw what she saw without the same reaction. I admit it was most likely harder for her than for me."

"Well," Dumbledore said with some finality and reached over his desk and handed her a piece of paper, "I simply wanted to give you this back."

Bethany took the paper, it was the letter from her parents. She ran her hand over the paper. She knew the truth, Dumbledore didn't only bring her up her to return the letter, he wanted to give her a moment to recover and to talk or cry or scream, whatever it may be. She smiled and looked up to him, "Thank you."

Dumbledore nodded.

Bethany got to her feet and handed Dumbledore back his cloak. She paused just at the door to the staircase and turned back to him, "Professor, why was my patronus…well…what it was? Am I cursed?"

Dumbledore laughed, "Certainly not Bethany. I think if you dig deep enough you might understand. Our patronus comes from the very depths of our happiest memory, if you consider your happiest memory you might find your answer."

Bethany's brow furrowed in confusion but she nodded. She did her best to slip silently from Dumbledore's office. She closed the door gently. She leaned back on the door and just took a few moments to take in all that had happened. Her mind did not wonder to the courtyard where the dementor was, or to Crouch who had questioned her ruthlessly for some time, but to her patronus. It looked just like the werewolf on the grounds the night she was attacked by the big black dog. She was brought back to a conversation she overheard James and Remus having in the Potions hall a few days earlier…

_ "I'm afraid of her Prongs, I like her enough to be frightened. Why can't she like me like she likes Sirius? Besides when did he decided Beth was alright, last I knew he hated her."_

_ James sighed, "When she tried to save an innocent dog from some werewolf I know."_

_ "I didn't-"_

_ "You did."_

Then she remembered something Severus said to her the night of the attack…

_ "What were you doing outside?"_

_Bethany__ raised her eyebrows at him and his sudden abruptness with her. "Why? Where you following me?"_

_ Severus stared at her. "Were you seeing the werewolf intentionally?"_

_ "Seeing a werewolf intentionally?" __Bethany__ asked surprised._

"Sev knows," Bethany whispered, "he knows that I have an interest in Remus. Oh heavens," she let her head fall back and hit Dumbledore's door, "how could I have been so blind…Remus _is_ my patronus."

_Sorry, I thought I had mentioned earlier, but if I haven't this is to occur in light of the alternate ending. Thank you for reading, please review. :::Jo:::_


	20. Chapter 6: Polite Conversation

**Chapter 6: Polite Conversation**

"Professor Lupin?" Hermione knocked on the door.

"Come in," he told her. "You've come back from Diagon Alley then?"

Hermione nodded, "Yes, we've just collected the books for this semester. They were missing Defense Against the Dark Arts though. The clerk at the store made it sound like they hadn't received the book yet, but I clearly get the impression that we don't have a professor yet…and that's why the book isn't there."

Remus nodded with a smiled, "I'm certain you are correct. Please," he gestured to the nearest chair, "have a seat. I was just going to have some tea."

"Thank you Professor," Hermione said.

"Hermione," Remus said as he poured each of them a cup, "you have to stop with the Professor thing, since I am no longer your Professor."

Hermione shook her head, "I suppose you're not, are you? It is a bit strange," Hermione admitted and then shook her head, "Remus…"

"That's better," Lupin said handing her the tea cup. "Are you uncomfortable Hermione? Is that what you meant by strange?"

She shook her head quickly, "Not at all, in fact it is quite the opposite." She frowned, "I suppose I'm lucky, many girls don't even have one father in their lives…I have two."

"Hermione," Remus said turning instantly serious, "you must understand, I wanted nothing more than to keep you."

"You don't have to say it, I understand the circumstances. And I must admit, I am very glad I know."

"I'm glad to have told you." Remus said. "And I do apologize about not explaining sooner."

Hermione stood and went to him. She smiled. Remus watched her, she reminded him so much of Beth with a little hint of himself at that age. He was very sad that the Ministry had stolen her from him, they should not have been allowed to take his own child from him. Hermione reached up and wrapped her arms around him, "You know I love them, my parents I mean, but there is plenty of room in my heart for you as well. I want you to know that I love you too."

Remus squeezed her, "Hermione, I've always loved you and I've always missed you."

Hermione pulled back and sat down again taking up her tea cup, "How old was I when they took me?"

"About four, almost four." Remus nodded.

Hermione closed her eyes, "I remember…a little."

"I fought long and hard to win you over, but the Ministry wouldn't have it. That was how I kept you for so long."

"I remember a big house, and green hills that I used to play in, and a forest?" Hermione was thinking hard on it, and Remus could tell she only had vague and nondescript visions of what little she remembered.

He nodded, "Yes, you are remembering the Terra province. You mother, Beth, she owned it. We, you and I, lived there for some time, after the mess with Sirius…and Bellatrix."

"What was she really like?" Hermione asked.

Remus picked up the journal that was sitting on his desk, "She was very much like her words here. She was very brave and incredibly charming. She knew just what to say and when to say it. She had it rough with her parents but, despite that, she was still very bold and honest: loving and brilliant. She did have a mean streak though," Remus furrowed his brow with a half hearted grin, "and that horrible down fall, always having to do what she believed was right. She was not all that different from you; like your house elf rebellion – you get that from her."

"I wish I could have met her," Hermione said. "I suppose things wouldn't have been the same had I met her though, she'd probably still be here now, if I had met her. She never came back…you know…as a ghost?"

Remus shook his head, "No, they never do when they are cursed the way she was…so suddenly."

Hermione nodded sadly, but then she smiled, "I've come to show you this." She pulled out a silver badge and handed it to him. "I received it just today, by owl."

Remus smiled and ran his finger over the words "Head Girl". He chuckled, "Forgive me Hermione, I'd be lying if I said I was surprised."

Hermione blushed accepting the badge back, "I suppose it doesn't come as a surprise to Ron or Harry either."

"Make no mistake Hermione," Remus said placing a hand on her shoulder, "I'm very proud of you…you've gone through a lot. I still hold that you're the cleverest witch of your age."

"Thank you," Hermione blushed harder. Then she got to her feet, "Well I'll be going to help Mrs. Weasley with dinner now. Tomorrow morning we're leaving for the Burrow; school starts in three days and she wants to go have Ron and Ginny put everything together for Hogwarts. I suppose we'll be taking Harry along and you'll be left here to watch over the Order."

Remus nodded, "That's what I've been told."

"You don't think that you'll, by any chance, be making an appearance at school this year – you know, in the vacant position?"

"I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I'm afraid not."

Hermione shrugged, "I could always hope, couldn't I?"

"Night Hermione."

"G'night Remus." He waited until the sound of her feet carrying her away subsided, then he flipped to his place in the journal.

**_I was functioning on nothing but the desire to prove that I was strong enough to not be bothered by the incident this morning – powered by the hope of covering my humiliation. However, by dusk, it was really starting to take its toll; I was beat._**

Remus found Bethany sitting on a stone bench in the courtyard just before sunset, she looked utterly exhausted; so worn out, if fact, that she didn't notice him approach.

"Bethany." He sat next to her.

She blinked two wary eyes in his direction, "Hello." She said sadly.

"Where have you been all day? You look like you could have used some rest."

She gave him the best smile she could muster, and it turned out to only be a vague half grin, "Speak for yourself Remus, you often look far more tired than I feel."

"Fair enough." He nodded looking out across the horizon. The sun was just beginning to sink below the hills in the distance. The rain had subsided but the countryside was still dark from thick gray clouds, all but the sun (that is) which was disappearing rapidly. "I'm sorry about this morning."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Bethany looked at him half disgusted.

"We're just looking out for you Beth, really."

"I'm fine. You saw, I handled it."

Remus nodded, "It wasn't you 'handling' it that has us worried about you."

"Hey," she peered over to him and chuckled, "I can take care of myself."

"I have no doubt about that." Remus said patting her shoulder.

The two then proceeded to sit in silence for several moments, each nervously waiting for the other to say something. Both had things they wanted to say, but neither knew how to approach the issue. Bethany was fairly certain it pertained to the same thing.

Remus spoke first, "I have to be fair to you Bethany, about Hogsmeade."

"It's okay," Bethany cut in. "I understand."

"You know?"

"I figured it out."

"When?" Remus asked.

"Just today." Bethany nodded. "I felt like such a heel, because I screamed at you about Hogsmeade." She sheepishly eyeing the ground, "Your reason was far more plausible than mine. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Beth," Remus said. "I should have been honest with you first, I should have told you I'd be there."

Bethany blushed, "It's all right."

"You're not mad? You don't hate me?" Remus asked unsteadily.

"Of course not! Why would I hate you? If you think it's because of your ascribed nature you're crazy. Remus, being a were – well – what you are makes you who you are. I can't entirely be sure that you would be Remus should you subtract something that makes you inherently you."

"Thank you, for believing in me," Remus said honestly, and then added playfully "About that patronus…"

Bethany felt her cheeks get hot and she looked away.

"It must mean," Remus said leaning a little close to her, getting a bit more serious, "that I am, at least, in your happiest memory."

Bethany turned to him quickly. She hadn't realized that he had leaned over, and they were very close now. She shook her head, "No."

"No?" Remus shook his head in response, "I'm not in your happiest memory, despite the patronus?"

"No," Bethany confirmed. "No Remus. You _are_ my happiest memory."

"Bethany."

Both turned to see Severus.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," he said gently, then extended his hand to her, "come, let's go to the common room."

Bethany smiled and stood, taking Severus's hand, "All right then. I am very tired." She peeked over her shoulder, "Goodnight Remus."

**_Thank goodness for Sev. Had he not been there I would have found myself more embarrassed than I would have ever liked to be, as if today hasn't been trying enough. Not to mention the pending rejection I was about to receive that Sev saved me from. So, here I am, once more alone with my thoughts. Sissy wanted to see me, I think I'll go up and visit her in a few minutes; she was more than impressed with my Crouch exercise. She thinks I am a Death Eater though, and I just fooled those people from the Ministry. I'm too tired to think about telling her the truth though. To be honest, my heart is still racing from my admitting to Remus that he is what makes me happy…genuinely happy. Imagine, he thought I wouldn't like him because he's a werewolf…again, like Sev Remus would be misjudged if people knew the truth. I have to amend something I said previously…there was a time that I said I 'thought' I found the man I can love more than life itself…there is no more thinking about it; it's clear, I have found him…my patronus showed me that._**

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_Thank You, once again, for reading this story. I promise more excitement soon. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! :::Jo:::_


	21. Chapter 7: Strength in Words

A/N: This chapter is a just for fun filler. I've decided to cut Bethany some slack and let her try and collect some of her strength back. Friends can always do that for you. Well, I hope you enjoy this little bit of fluff. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think. :::Jo:::

**Chapter 7: Strength in Words**

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**_Thursday October 21, 1976_****__**

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**_Today I received an owl from my best friend. I mentioned earlier that my friends all graduated last summer, well she was one of them who left me here to fend for myself at Hogwarts. She was a Hufflepuff…I miss her. I have spent little time, aside from classes, outside of the girls' dorm. I just haven't had it in me to deal with all those people who are still talking about Saturday…and Remus, that little show with him…I've been trying to avoid that too. Well, here's the letter, I'm going to fuse it in here. She's always given me that strength I needed just at the right time, not to mention some really fantastic news._**

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_Hey B!_

_Top of the morning to you! I got your owl just today, I thought you'd never write me back. I miss you like crazy. It's really strange being back in __Ireland__ to stay. My mum was happy to have me back home though. I heard about what happened last weekend with Crouch. And I was sorry to hear it. They are all uptight at the ministry lately, I heard from Frank…he's working there now, with dad. He got accepted into the __Auror__School__. I miss him too. To be fair, I miss all of Hogwarts…everything about it. Anyway, I know you're parents ran off…mum says your staying with us over Christmas __Holiday__. You know my family loves you, and they hate to see you go though anything less than perfect. Mum was really mad, she wrote an angry letter to Crouch…but it probably never saw his desk, you know how that bureaucracy goes._

_So, Lily Evans and James Potter are dating huh? That's strange because last time I checked she couldn't stand him. She thought he was a haughty Quidditch dick, her words exactly. I guess everyone falls for the athlete after awhile, including myself; remember Frank was the Gryffindor Keeper for those last three years. He said James isn't that bad, and he was glad to hear Lily gave him a shot. Now if someone can just tame that irresistible Sirius Black. I must admit Gryffindor has the most beautiful men anywhere, but to be fair Slytherin's got some handsome guys too – you and Lily are lucky. As for me, I was stuck with some not so gorgeous men…but nice ones. Ravenclaws weren't so bad either, if I remember correctly._

_Remus Lupin huh?__ I'm not surprised, well I must admit, I am a little. He's a beautiful piece of man meat. He's a pureblood right? I think he is. Either way, it doesn't matter now since you won't have to get Mom and Dad Spence's approval of anyone. That's nice. I know you're wondering why I'm surprised, well it's because he's a Gryffindor. I never really thought you'd go for a Gryffindor, not because they are a bad choice but I thought if not a Slytherin a Ravenclaw…he had to be someone who would have good sense. __Bethany__ if you looked around the school you really could capture anyone's heart you want to…I know you're rolling your eyes right now, but it's true. Frank even says so, they all notice you…you just don't notice them noticing you. Anyhow, I'm a little not surprised because he is the scholarly type…if you were going to pick any Gryffindor it would have been him. Not a bad choice though, however you might want to consider that Sirius – he's luscious too._

_Okay, I can't stand it any longer! He asked me!!! __Bethany__ he asked me!!! He asked me to marry him! Frank! And I said yes. I wanted to wait until Christmas so I could tell you in person, but I couldn't wait…I had to tell you. I hope you are as excited for me as I am…I know you are. I can't wait to see you at Christmas. Mum said she'd take you up to YOUR (all yours) house in __London__ if you wanted to do something there over the holiday, she even offered to take you down to the Terra property if you wanted to go there. Just let me know when we need to be at the train station._

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Take care of my best friend while I can't (give her a hug from me, and I'll give one to hers),_

_Cheers,_

_Alice MacManus (soon to be Longbottom)_


	22. Chapter 8: Remus’s Confession

_A/N: I think this is the chapter some of you have been waiting for…I hope you like it._

**Chapter 8: Remus's Confession**

Remus chuckled, he remembered Alice a little from school, but he didn't remember her so guy crazy. He did remember that she and Bethany had been close, and when they'd started dating he knew that Alice had been Bethany's best friend. If Bellatrix wasn't caught for Bethany, he was glad she was caught for the Longbottoms; Bethany would have wanted it that way.

He went to the little pouch that lay on his desk, the one that held their rings. He picked it up along with the photos he had sitting atop a stack of parchments. He sifted through them slowly. There were some photos of himself and Bethany, some of Bethany and Hermione, some of he and Hermione, some with James and Lily, a few with Alice and Frank, several with Sirius, a couple with Peter, and two of Remy.

Remus collected up a few and stuck them in the front of the journal, then slipped out of the room and down the stairs toward the kitchen, Hermione had mentioned dinner and he thought he'd been antisocial enough for the past few days.

He stopped just at the kitchen door, he could hear Mrs. Weasley and Severus on the other side, arguing again. He didn't want to interrupt them.

"Well I think it's been long enough Severus. A year is plenty."

"We don't know all the facts Molly." Severus said shortly.

"You're not being fair, everyone knows why. Don't be silly, we can all know the same amount together." Molly snapped.

"You will not tell him." Severus said sternly. "Dumbledore has insisted that this remain quiet. The only reason you know is because Arthur works at the Ministry," Severus said haughtily.

"You wouldn't know if Dumbledore hadn't intended for-" Molly was saying, but Remus pushed the door open with a smile.

"Hermione mentioned something about dinner, can I help?"

"Don't be silly," Molly grinned. "For now we're just waiting for the potatoes to bake."

Remus nodded, "Well, it smells wonderful. Severus, I'm sure you'll be leaving for Hogwarts soon, would you leave that cauldron of Wolfsbane potion for me?"

"Absolutely," Severus turned his nose up snootily.

"Thank you," Remus smiled. "Well, since I am not needed here, will you send for me when dinner is ready?"

"Surely," Molly smiled.

Remus nodded and with that he climbed the stairs back to his room.

He shook his head, he wished he had some idea of what everyone was talking about…or talking about hiding. He collected the journal back up, he figured he could read quite a bit more before dinner.

**_Sunday October 24, 1976_****__**

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**_Yet another rainy day was the description of this October afternoon. With the anticipation of a new beginning comes the fear of a possible ending, and I am terrified of both._**

Bethany couldn't take it any longer, being trapped in the Slytherin dorm room was not in any way a characteristic herself and she knew it. She couldn't hide for the rest of the year, so she decided that she would do as she pleased. Everyone would be out and about and she refused to be trapped another day.

Bethany sat silently at the Slytherin table, picking at her food, wondering if flying would be a good choice by the look of the weather outside. Several Slytherins were polite enough to say hello, in passing. She was surprised at how quickly they'd forgotten the Quidditch game and her choice of company at the game for the action sequence she'd performed for them on the front lawn the following morning.

"Hello Bethany." Severus sat down next to her.

"Hey Sev," she grinned.

"Good to see you out," he said.

"It's good to be out, and seen," Bethany nodded.

"What were your plans for the day?"

Bethany looked past him to the tall window overlooking the grounds. "Fly."

"I see," he frowned.

"You don't like to fly?"

"It's not my favorite thing to do."

"Here," Bethany took his hand and interlocked their fingers end to end.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

She smiled, "Just bare with me, okay?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"I'm going to tell you the rules first."

"Rules?"  
"Just listen," she smiled. She pointed at his thumb, "The object is to hold my thumb down, but you have to catch it first. When you do, you hold it for three seconds then you win, meanwhile I'll be trying to do the same."

"What?" Severus asked.

"It's called Thumb Wrestling. If you win, I stay inside and am the object of your entertainment for the afternoon. I win I get to go outside and fly, no feelings hurt. Fair?" She beamed a grin at him, but by his expression she could see he was slightly perturbed so she sighed playfully. "Come on," she pleaded, "its a Muggle game I read about one time and haven't found anyone to play with yet."

"Fine." He said placidly.

"Ready?" She smiled. "Set? GO!"

The two both jerked and Severus caught on quick when Bethany jabbed out and caught his thumb, holding it hostage for a whole two seconds before he broke free. Bethany caught a genuine smile out of him when he pinned her finger. It took two seconds for her to get out of the hold. After a few brief moments of the back and forth battle Bethany came out successful. She laughed, "I win!"

Severus snorted and shook his head.

"Aw come on," she gave him a nudge, "it was a good game."

"You've played before, that's why you won."

She shook her head, "No way, pure skill."

"Right." Severus snorted.

Bethany laughed, "Okay, fine. I'm forfeiting my entire win. I'll spend the first half of the day flying, as I intended, then I'll spend the second half of the afternoon with you. Deal?"

Bethany caught another genuine smile cross his face as he nodded.

"Well, I better get going then, since I've already used part of my morning Thumb Wrestling," Bethany got up and started to head off. She paused and leaned over Severus's shoulder and chuckled, "and winning."

Bethany found the rain quite cold and biting, but she didn't mind because it was only coming in occasional bursts, it was mostly a constant drizzle. Bethany raced through the grounds on her Dragonfire, skirting the Quidditch Pitch last. After several laps she stopped at the pitch and dismounted her broom. For the first time in all her time at Hogwarts she was sad she hadn't tried out for the team.

She dropped the bag full of goodies she had brought along on the ground next to her. She propped her broom up and dropped the hood of her cloak back.

"Well aren't you just the clever little witch whose specialty is disappearing."

Bethany jumped. She spun to see Sirius leaning on the bleachers. She smiled, "Hey Sirius."

He just raised an eyebrow at her.

"You're angry with me," she said surprised but impressed.

"I haven't talked to you in more than a week. I was beginning to wonder if you knew who I was."

"I'm sorry," Bethany hung her head. "It's just…last weekend…it was…trying, at best."

"Yeah, so I hear, from everybody else…but you wouldn't even talk to me."

"Sirius," Bethany frown, "I didn't…I couldn't…"

Sirius waved a hand, "I know it was tough, but you shouldn't abandon your friends Beth; that's what we're for, being there when times are rough."

Bethany went to him, and he smiled down on her. Bethany reached over and wrapped her arms about his waist and buried her face in his chest, "Sirius it was awful, I was so scared."

She felt Sirius chuckle, then he wrapped his arms around her, "Well you could have fooled me. If I hadn't known better I would have thought you were ready for that attack."

Bethany pulled back and gave him a jab in the shoulder, "You always have to joke about serious stuff."

Sirius just laughed again, "I know you're not really troubled by that, otherwise you'd have really given me a row."

"I guess you're right." She nodded.

"I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of your anger. You're a spitfire." Sirius shrugged, "You've really had Remus all up in a bunch. He doesn't know left from right, nor up from down."

"What?" Bethany turned on Sirius quickly.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "he's just been a mess since last Saturday. What did you do to him?"

"Nothing," Bethany said quickly. "Nothing at all."

"Well you could have fooled me, he's a wreck. It hasn't helped that no one has seen you in a week."

Bethany shrugged. "I needed to recover."

"You done with that now?"

"Recovering?" Bethany asked.

Sirius nodded.

"I guess."

"You guess?" It was Remus's voice that cut into the conversation.

"I was just going in," Bethany blurted out nervously after looking over to Remus.

"Don't," he held up a hand.

"Well," Sirius smiled, "I was just leaving. James wanted to meet me five minutes ago. I'll see you two later."

"Sirius," Bethany called almost pleadingly, but he wasn't listening; so she was left staring awkwardly at Remus. The rain started to fall harder as Bethany and Remus were left alone. "Well," Bethany said uneasily, "how have you been?"

"How have you been?" Remus turned the question around in a concerned tone.

"All right, I guess."

"You guess, there you go, guessing again." Remus came over to her.

"I'm fine. Remus-"

"No," he stepped up and placed a hand over her mouth, "don't."

Bethany looked down to his hand over her mouth. Gently she reached up and took wrist, gingerly pulling his hand away. "Why?"

"I'm afraid what you're going to say is with the intention to take away all you said last weekend. I don't want you to." He ran his fingers down her cheek, "Bethany, I'm sorry. Sorry that I wasn't brave enough to admit it first. Sorry that I was too much of a coward, so much so that you had to give me a push. I guess I was afraid of what would come, and afraid of what I am. I was afraid of you, you're…well…you're deserving of more."

"Remus-"

"No," Remus frowned, "please, I want to say it all first. Bethany in all fairness you caught my eye long ago, but as I've already said I was too afraid of everything to say anything; but it was really that day when Sirius was taunting Severus that I realized…I knew that I could love you…that I did love you…you were all the things I wanted to be but couldn't – I was jealous of what you could do. You made me realize that you are what I need to make me whole. Please forgive me for not saying anything sooner and if I have offended you in anyway, but I can't keep it in any longer…I had to tell you."

"That's it?" Bethany asked solemnly.

"Yes," Remus frowned, "that's all."

Bethany reached up and ran a hand through his wet hair. Remus leaned over and Bethany reached up, their lips met for the first time and it was like fire racing through both of them. Bethany pulled back after a few seconds she smiled shyly, "That's better. See, I knew there was more."

Remus sighed, relieved. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around her and she melted into his hug. He questioned quietly, "I hear the next Hogsmeade weekend is November twentieth. Could I interest you in a cup of tea at Madam Puddifoot's, just you and me?"

"Definitely," Bethany sighed dreamily, "I couldn't ask for more."

"Bethany."

"Hmmmm?" she hummed happily, wrapped in Remus's warm arms despite the bitter cold rain.

"I really do love you."

Bethany felt her knees get weak and her body sink a little bit into him, Remus caught the slack and helped her stand, "I love you too Remus, I just don't think you understand how much."

**_I thought every part of me would be ecstatic with Remus's confession; a confession I have been longing for. I must admit, it was fantastic, beyond dream-like…it was surreal. But – the possible ending is weighing heavy on my shoulders. Severus is waiting for the remainder of my afternoon, as promised. Here I am, writing about Remus…it's time for me to tell Severus the truth about Remus, about Remus and I, and about how I feel about Remus (and have felt for some time)._**

_Thank you for reading, please review. :::Jo:::_


	23. Chapter 9: Along for the Ride

_A/N: Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. :::Jo:::_

**Chapter 9: Along for the Ride**

Remus had somehow dozed off, when he woke the journal was lying open on his chest and warm sunny rays were washing over the whole room. He noticed that he had clearly slept through dinner, and through the whole night. He wiped the sleep from his eyes, the Black house was completely silent. Hermione had told him that they were leaving to go to the Burrow today; he figured they must be gone already.

Remus tucked the journal up under his arm and headed down the stairs; he hadn't eaten the night before and that made for a very hungry man.

Remus was surprise when he reached the kitchen, Arthur Weasley was rummaging through the pantry.

"Morning Arthur," Remus said cheerily.

"Remus, good morning!" Arthur spun and looked over his friend.

Arthur looked tired, but Remus shrugged it off, everyone looked tired these days.

"Have you been to St. Mungo's recently?" Arthur asked off-handedly.

"I'm sorry?" Remus asked. "Why would I go to St. Mungo's?"

Arthur swallowed the piece of bread he had been munching on awkwardly, and then he waved a hand. "Oh, no reason. I just thought maybe you'd have gone to…" Arthur thought on it for moment then shrugged, "go."

"Arthur," Remus said seriously. "I haven't bothered with all the oddities that have been going on around me and obviously about me. I haven't been oblivious to them, I see then but I have chosen not to question them; with the thought that someone would come to me…but you all are tip toeing around me like I'm going to attack. What's going on? Tell me, my friend," Remus sat at the table across from the pantry, "have I ever been anything but understanding regarding any serious situation?"

"Certainly not Remus," Arthur said nervously. "It's just that some subjects are touchy with anyone, and others are held classified under the Ministry…this subject it both."

"I see." Remus nodded.

Arthur sighed, relieved.

"What brings you here today Arthur?" Remus asked.

"I was just passing through London and decided to pop in to grab a bite to eat."

Remus nodded.

All of a sudden the portrait of Mrs. Black began to wail and shout.

Neither Remus nor Arthur paused, both darted into the foyer where the portrait hung.

"REMUS! REMUS!" Mrs. Weasley was shouting as she ran, out of breath, in the direction of the stairs. She paid no attention to the portrait shouting at her the whole while.

"Molly," Arthur called, "we're over here."

The short and bumpy witch hurried over to them. "Remus, you must come quickly!"

"What are you doing here Molly? I thought you and the children were getting ready for Hogwarts." Remus said.

"No time, you have to come!" Molly took his hand. "Quickly."

"What's happened? Is Hermione all right? Is it Harry, or Ron?" Remus asked.

"They're fine, they're packing, just come with me." Molly urged. "We'll be taking the Muggle Underground."

Remus didn't ask anymore questions, he simply went along with her to quell the constant request that he simply come along. Trailing a few steps behind Arthur and Molly, Remus didn't both to listen what they were going back and forth about. The three boarded the Underground and Remus sat back for the ride. He realized then that Bethany's journal was still under his arm. He flipped through the pages to where he had been.

"'Ello Sev," Bethany said shyly, "meeting him in the common room."

"Bethany," Severus stood when she entered, he offered the seat next to him. She took the empty spot and did not offer him the smile he was used to receiving from her.

"Bethany?" Severus asked

She sighed and looked up to him, "Severus."

"What's wrong?"

Bethany took in a huge breath and held it for a moment as if wondering where to begin. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Something's right in my life, for once."

Severus closed his book and sat it on the table across from him taking Bethany very seriously now. "I can sense your anticipation. This is serious then?"

"Yes," Bethany nodded. "I can't bare to hurt you, and before you find out from someone else I'm going to tell you."

Severus looked the other way, and Bethany was sure it was to keep her from being able to see his look of disappointment head on.

"It's no secret that you don't like James, Peter, Sirius, or Remus. And like I've told them, I'm going to tell you…I choose my friends with care and inconveniently for all of you I would call each of you a friend. It is also no secret that they have a distaste for you. I will continue to call all of you my friends until you decide otherwise." Bethany raised her chin, "So you can choose to dissolve our friendship because I am going to continue to be their friends, or you can keep it. With everything that has happed in the past two months I can't afford to have people who are only friends with me superficially."

"Bethany," Severus cut her off, "I have never questioned your friendship with any of them."

"You have, you just haven't vocalized it…only but once."

"What?" Severus asked.

"At the match. You told said that Remus and I make you sick." Bethany said placidly. "I fear that you are going to have far more distaste from what I am preparing myself to tell you."

"Don't," Severus said sharply. "Don't tell me, I don't want to hear it!"

"Sev," Bethany pleaded.

Severus stood and collected up his book.

"Sev, please," Bethany begged again.

"Bethany…" Severus looked at her, then turned without another word and swept away.

Bethany collapsed onto the Slytherin common room couch and dropped her hands into her palms and broke into tears.

"Remus," Molly poked him in the side. "We're here."

"Of course," Remus stood slapping the journal shut sadly, for he could see he only had a few more sentences to go before he had read every word Bethany had written in the little journal.


	24. Chapter 10: In the End

_A/N: All right y'all, it's over!!!! For real this time. Hehe. I can't believe it's done. I hope you like this ending. Please be kind and review. I'm getting ready to go see Harry Potter this afternoon, perhaps I will find myself inspired. Well, you enjoy. :::Jo::: P.S. I have gone to the movies and come back, and as expected I was inspired. I had thought I put Beth and Remus behind me, but in the requests for a sequel (of the sequel, I might add) I am seriously considering it. However, the sequel would be (most likely) present events. Please let me know if you'd really like to read a continuation of this story, if you do…I shall seriously consider a sequel (lol, a sequel I have already started writing, in my head, that is)._

**Chapter 10: ...in the end...**

Remus stared at the old brick building that stood before him. The store sign read Purge and Dowse Ltd.'s but there was another little sign hanging crookedly in the window that said _closed for refurbishment_.

"Molly?" Remus questioned skeptically as the plump little witch whispered to the mannequin in the window. Molly simply waved a hand behind her.

"She isn't bringing me here for me, is she?" Remus asked Arthur who was rocking back and forth on his feet nervously. "I know I've been spending some time alone but-"

"Don't be silly Remus," Arthur said quickly. "Of course she's not."

"Come quickly," Molly took Remus's arm and stepped through the glass window with him. Remus let her lead him, choosing not to scold her for treating him as she would Ron or Harry. He almost chuckled, she couldn't help being what she was…a mother.

"Back again, already?" A young Healer said to Molly behind a smile.

Molly nodded.

He pointed northward with his quill, "Fourth Floor."

"Fourth Floor?" Arthur queried curiously and Molly gave him a stern look as if he should have known that.

"Longbottom's room." The Healer nodded.

"Oh," Molly and Arthur exchanged worried looks. "Well, let's go, quickly then." Molly said.

"Stop," Remus finally said sternly as Molly and Arthur began to hurry away. "I must know what this wild goose chase is all about."

"You will know, as soon as we've reached the fourth floor." Molly said, again taking Remus's arm and dragging him along.

They climbed the stairs in silence, but at Molly's rapid pace it took them a very short time. Molly pushed the door open and hurried across the corridor where the closed ward lay.

"Molly?" Remus tried again.

This time when she waved her hand she told him to shush.

It was not particularly common for Remus to become impatient but by now, traversing most of London with no explanation, he was slightly flustered.

"Has Severus been in?" Arthur asked Molly.

"No," Molly said steadily. "Severus left for Hogwarts last night. School starts in two days. He doesn't know."

"SHHHH!" An old witch who was reading the Daily Prophet told the three as they rushed by.

Finally, after what seemed like a small eternity Remus reached Alice and Frank's section of the closed ward. The curtain was drawn around their beds, but Molly, Arthur and Remus could hear quiet sobs echoing from the other side of the pulled drape.

"Thank goodness you're here," a heavy set Healer said quietly, standing and meeting Mrs. Weasley. "She's been in there for hours and refused to leave. She won't stop crying. Maybe you can help ease her woes."

Molly reached out and patted the old woman's shoulder then she peeked over her shoulder at Remus. "Has she asked for Remus?"

"Not since she woke," the Healer said. The Healer glanced over at Remus, "She's not mad, which is what we had expected. But her heart is broken. She still hasn't told us what happened, she's been waiting for you."

"What do you mean?" Remus queried cautiously and confused-like.

But Molly was already pulling the curtain back slowly. The stifled tears did not cease. Arthur and Remus's attention was brought around to Alice Longbottom's bed. Alice was sitting up and holding a younger woman. The younger woman was clinging to Alice with her head buried in Alice's shoulder. She was mumbling something that was so soft she couldn't be understood, but Alice was just continually patting her somewhat wild curly hair comfortingly. Though Alice was staring off lost in her crazy thoughts, she didn't seem to mind that this woman was sobbing on her shoulder.

"Bethany," Molly whispered.

The young woman pulled away from Alice and turned to face Molly. Remus thought surely he'd die right there, in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Behind red puffy eyes, from hours of crying, (aside from the tears) unchanged in almost fourteen years was his wife. She hadn't aged, she looked just as he remembered her. Gracefully she reached up and gingerly wiped away a stray tear. "Alice…" she said questioningly to Molly.

"Yes dear," Molly said going to her and taking her hands pulling her to her feet. "I'm sorry you had to see her this way, but there are many things you will have to learn. I've brought Remus for you, as you requested." Molly turned to Remus, "You were the first thing she asked for when she woke, just this morning."

Remus sort of stumbled forward awkwardly, as if his eyes were still deceiving him.

"Remus?" Bethany questioned, also, as if she were being deceived.

Cautiously Remus reached out to her and she rushed over to him. She wrapped her arms around him with all her strength, which was not much at the moment. Remus slowly wrapped his arms around her, disbelievingly. It wasn't until that moment that he believed this wasn't a trick, a dirty evil trick…but Bethany was very much alive and holding him. Though he wanted to be supporting her he was fairly certain it was she who was keeping his knees from buckling and causing him to collapse there on the floor. He rested his head on the top of hers and rocked her back and forth. "Oh God Bethany, you're really here, really alive."

"Yes Remus, I am." Bethany hummed into his chest.

"How is this?" Remus asked.

Bethany pulled back from him. "I've been told I have been here, in St. Mungo's, for a little more than a year now."

"Quite a little more than a year," the fat Healer interjected.

"Can you tell us what happened Beth?" Arthur asked. "This has been a very strange puzzled no one can explain. You haven't aged at all in the fourteen years, since your death."

Bethany shuttered at Arthur's words and her eyes narrowed, "I will repay Bellatrix Lestrange for her treachery, not to me," Bethany leaned around and looked at Alice, "but for my friends." Then she cleared her throat, and leaned over taking Remus's hand as if she needed to feel him or needed him for strength…or both.

"We found Bethany," Arthur said first to Remus, finally filling him in, "at the Ministry the morning after the incident last spring. She was not awake, and we didn't think she was alive; much to our surprise she was. This has been a classified case for the Ministry until we had answers on the nature of this strange occurrence. We thought it might be," Arthur lowered his voice, "you-know-who's doing. Very few people knew about Bethany's reappearance."

"But when she woke this morning, and she asked for you," Molly smiled, "we couldn't deny her request."

"Now you can fill in the wholes Beth," Arthur grinned.

"It was odd, and I don't remember much." Bethany closed her eyes, thinking back hard. "I know I was dead, but I don't remember _being_ dead; like the ghosts at Hogwarts. In fact, there was nothing until…" Bethany trailed off. She shook her head. "Well, as I said it was nothing, then, all of a sudden there was something. James and Lily they were there first. It was dark, I was holding Remus, he was being a good baby. He was sleeping. We were sitting, all three of us, in a row. Then beside me came Lucius Malfoy's little sister, Lilia Malfoy. It was almost like being in the Ministry when you are being judged, because across from the four of us were three hooded and cloaked figures on a stand, hovering over us. The whole incident was very stale.

Then the middle hooded figure stood. His voice echoed in the black empty nothingness the four of us were seated in. 'Bring in the man,' the figure called. Then, between the judged and the four of us appeared Sirius. I couldn't believe it, he looked ragged and worn…yet still, somehow angry. Then the figure on the left stood and the one in the middle sat. 'You have initiated the Trial of Grindlock by entering the Veil.' That cloaked figure sat and the one on the right stood, 'Which will you choose to take you're place then.'

Sirius looked to all of us. His face softened, and he was glad to see us. I have to admit all of us were very glad to see him as well. Finally Sirius turned to the judged and said, 'I cannot choose between these people, I love them all.'

The middle judge stood again, 'You will choose, or you will forfeit any of them taking your place.' It was strange, all their voices melded together and they sounded almost as one. I don't know about Lily, James or Lilia but I had tried to speak to Sirius and nothing would come out. I couldn't move either. The judge on the left stood again, 'You may not speak to them, until you have chosen.' Then the one on the right stood again, 'You are permitted to view the events that happened in their lives and in your life surrounding them.'

It was then that strange things began to happen. We, all four of us, Sirius and the judges, were living our lives all over again…for Sirius's sake. It happened fast. James and Sirius becoming friends in their first year, you were there," Bethany looked up to Remus with a smile. "We saw all the trouble the two of them got into, sometime with you and Peter, sometimes alone. The summers Sirius spent with James flew by, and all the things they did to old Mrs. Black. Then Lily came into the events. We felt and saw Sirius's hatred of her at first, because she took James's time, and then his inevitable adoration of her. Everyone loved Lily. There was also James and Lily's wedding and all that fun. Then me, Sirius saw all those times he gave me grief when I was spending time with Narcissa Malfoy, and then the time I tried to save him from you." Bethany leaned over and nudged Remus. "The time he stood with me in the rain at the Quidditch Pitch, and I could feel how much I really meant to him, just like we could all feel when the memories passed. There was our wedding. But then Sirius jerked and anger washed over him, we could all feel it, as he saw what had transpired when I tried repeatedly to have him released from Azkaban. He never knew that happened. Then Lilia," Bethany hung her head, "I had no idea what happened between the two of them; in fact I had no idea there was anything between the two of them. We saw secret moonlit meetings, and quiet romantic encounters. Sirius had undying love for that girl, but she was torn between two worlds: her family and him; likewise he was torn between showing how he really felt for her the stigma that might come with expressing those feelings among wizarding world. She disappeared on him just before he was tossed into Azkaban, she thought he had gone mad. She lived on a little while longer than me, but was inevitably destroyed by you-know-who's followers."

Bethany looked up at Molly, Arthur, Remus and the plump little witch who were all leaning in with rapt attention.

"So," Bethany went on, "The middle judge stood again, 'Have you made your decision?' Sirius turned and looked over all our faces and then glanced back at the judge, 'I have.' He said. The left judge said, 'Then make your decision.' Sirius came to us, he went to James first. 'Hey mate,' he said. 'I'm sorry. I can't bear to separate you and Lily.' Then he went to Lily and took up her hands, 'Sweet Lily,' he said, 'I promise you Harry will be taken care of. But as I've told James, you two are meant to exist together…you must understand.' A tear welled up in her eye and she nodded. Then he passed me by, 'Lilia, I love you…I always have. And it's my greed that is keeping you here. I want to be with you, like I couldn't in the real world.' He reached up and touched her cheek, and she smiled. I knew she wanted to stay there with him, she would have followed him into the deepest pits of hell. Then he came to me and he took my face in his hands, 'Bethany, I'm giving you what I took from you when you tried to save me all those times. I thank you for believing in me when no one else would.' Then he reached out and took Remy from me, 'I promise we'll take good care of Remy, but in return you must take good care of Harry. Oh, and watch over Remus for me, he's been very sad lately…I know it's nothing you can't remedy.' Then he winked and they were gone. I don't remember anything else until I woke in here this morning."

No one said anything as they watched Bethany shift uncomfortably. "I'm sorry he had to go so I could be here."

"Bethany," Molly said. "Nothing can change the way things are, and we're glad to have you here."

"Yes we are," A new voice entered the room. Everyone turned to see Albus Dumbledore smiling down on all of them. "It is good to see you Bethany, awake."

"Professor Dumbledore," Bethany's glee shot through her smile and bubbled over into her vocalization of her joy. She went to him.

"You've woken just in time, yes just in time I think," he said.

"In time for what?" Bethany asked.

"There is a favor I would ask of you," Dumbledore bowed his head. "It seems my teacher roster is short but one professor."

Bethany's eyes went wide and she shook her head, "Oh, I don't think so. I'm not much of a teacher."

"You are more of a teacher than you know. You understand the material intimately, and you have the experience as your time as an Aurora demonstrated." Dumbledore smiled.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Bethany raised an eyebrow. "That position is still cursed?"

Dumbledore laughed, "Class begins in two days. You are free to take the Hogwarts express, I'm sure you still remember the time and the place."

Bethany sighed, she could never deny Dumbledore anything he asked her, "I'll be there."

"Good," the corners of Dumbledore's mouth turned up even more, "I do look forward to seeing you again Mrs. Lupin. Now," he scanned the other occupants of the room, "good afternoon."

Just then another Healer came to Bethany and handed her several papers, "You've been released Mrs. Lupin, you're exam from this morning showed no maladies."

"Thank you." Bethany smiled. "Now if you all don't mind I'd like to go outside."

Molly grabbed Arthur and pulled him back as he started to follow Bethany and Remus, "Let them have some time."

Remus and Bethany took the long way back to number 12. They were very happy just to be in one another's presence. They spoke very little and just, silently enjoyed one another's company. Remus led the way to the old Black home.

"I remember this place," Bethany said running a finger along one of the bureaus in the front room.

"We have much to tell you Bethany," Remus said.

She turned to him and he was surprised to see a sad look pass over her face, "I'm going to have to go to the Ministry. I don't doubt that they are going to try and lock me up."

"Dumbledore won't let that happen. Molly and Arthur won't let that happen…and I won't let that happen."

"I love you Remus," Bethany breathed.

Remus's brow wrinkled and he looked as though he'd cry. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her once again, "I've missed you Bethany. Seeing you again, I don't know how I've lived without you." Slowly he released her, and then he took her by the hand and led her up the stairs. He pushed the door open to his room. Bethany chuckled as her eyes drifted over the stacks of papers and misbegotten books.

"What?" Remus looked over to her.

"Just as I suspected," Bethany laughed this time, "your room without me to clean up."

Remus, in response, blushed and grinned.

He dropped Bethany's journal on his desk and pulled out the little velvet pouch that he had shown Hermione last Christmas. Nervously he opened the pouch and dropped their wedding rings into his hand, "Mrs. Lupin?"

"Mr. Lupin?" Bethany raised her chin with a proud smile.

Remus went to her and timidly took up her left hand. Cautiously he pushed her wedding band on her ring finger and then proceeded to slip her engagement ring behind it. A tear slipped down her face and off her chin onto her hand. Slowly she reached out and took his ring from his hand and repeated the ritual, as if the two were renewing their wedding vows.

"I love you Bethany."

"Oh Remus, I'm just glad to find that you've waited for me."

"I could never betray your memory." Remus told her. "I've never stopped loving you." He turned and went back to his desk and scooped up the journal. He extended it to her. "Can you tell me how it ends?"

Bethany covered her mouth in surprise, "Remus! Where did you get that?"

"Hermione."

"Hermione?" Bethany breathed.

"I promise to explain everything, I promise you will learn all you've missed over the years."

"Years?" Bethany asked.

Remus reached up and placed a hand over her mouth. Her eyes searched his, and for the first time since they'd been reunited she actually looked at him. He did look older, and so did Sirius when she thought on it. She didn't care though, she was glad to be back with her husband…where she belonged. "Tell me, how does it end?"

Bethany laughed, running her hand over the cover of the leather journal. "Alice gave me this, she told me it would help me not to be alone when she'd graduated."

"Bethany?" Remus questioned.

Bethany's eyes lifted to meet his, "I think you just demonstrated how it ends."

Remus tipped his head and Bethany laughed.

"Okay," she said, "okay." Bethany pulled open the journal and flipped through the pages. She cleared her throat, "Well, it's done then. Sev won't speak to me…he may cool off. But I doubt it, if I know him. Then again, if I really know him, he might still be angry, but it'll blow over with time…like everything else. The only thing that I hope will never simmer is my love for Remus," Bethany choked, she was doing her best to keep her voice steady, and Remus was just enjoying hearing Bethany say the words he'd been reading…hearing the words she'd written in her voice. "And his passion for me. Only time will tell, and I suppose for that I'll have to wait. For now I must dissolve this writing and pass it on, I can't have Sissy find this dribble about my feelings…I am going to hand this book off to the only person I know who can keep it safe. She will keep my thoughts, my memories, my hopes, my dreams, and me safe; for she understands how much love means. Here's to you Lily Evans, the girl who showed me that love is worth everything. Bethany Spence (hoping to be Lupin)."

**...The End...**


End file.
